Classmate Number Seven - 10
There was once a hugely popular question circulating online: What does it feel like to become desk mates with the person you have a crush on?
Some people said it was thrilling. Becoming desk mates meant more opportunities to spend time together, and if you played your cards right, maybe that secret crush could actually turn into something real.
Others said it was happiness itself, getting to know all his little secrets and having endless things to talk about every day.
As the person living through it now, Qi Xia had a different take.
After the brief thrill wore off, all she felt was sheer panic.
Embarrassment and nerves tangled together, she was completely at a loss. Qi Xia even regretted going to bed with her hair still damp the night before, which had left it frizzy that morning. And after staying up night after night grinding through practice problems, she'd developed a pimple on her right cheek.
At the thought, she lifted a hand and discreetly covered it.
She tilted her head, not daring to look at Chen Xifan at all. Unfortunately, Chen Xifan was the sort of person who filled a room without trying, with their desks so close together, Qi Xia couldn't settle down even when he wasn't saying a word.
The classroom windows stood open. Spring wind swept in, carrying the faint scent of mint from the boy beside her, flooding her senses inch by inch.
Her heart began to race again, pounding so hard against her chest it was almost deafening.
Just as she was about to lose her mind, the English teacher came to her rescue.
The English teacher for Class 5 was Zhou Tong, a stylish woman who never wore the same outfit twice. She swept into the classroom with a little bee accessory, apologized briefly for being late, and told everyone to open their textbooks.
Before long, Zhou Tong's voice filled every corner of the classroom, the rigid line of Qi Xia's back finally loosened.
Zhou Tong loved calling on students to read aloud. It was the part of English class Qi Xia dreaded most. Back in her small town, she'd learned what was essentially mute English, and her spoken English was poor. The worse she was at it, the more terrified she became of being called on.
"I'm going to have a few students read this passage," Zhou Tong announced, her gaze sweeping across the room before settling on the front row.
She tapped Chen Xifan's desk.
"Let's start here. Two sentences each."
Of course. The one thing Qi Xia feared most.
She closed her eyes in despair.
A moment later, the chair beside her scraped against the floor. Chen Xifan stood up, book in hand, and began reading.
"At first my new surroundings were difficult to tolerate..."
It was an ordinary science article, yet coming from the boy's mouth, it took on the gentle cadence of a story being told. His flawless American pronunciation, natural intonation, even the placement of every pause, were so polished they sounded exactly like the recording on a language-learning tape.
His voice was on the deeper side, unhurried but carrying a faint, irresistible pull. Qi Xia shifted uncomfortably and touched her ear.
Before she knew it, Chen Xifan had finished his two sentences. He sat down, and Qi Xia stood up.
Her spoken English was poor enough already, and the lack of confidence only made it worse. She stumbled through the passage, tripping over her words.
Zhou Tong said nothing. She simply corrected the pronunciation of five words along the way, then offered some encouragement.
"Not bad. A few more tries and you'll get there. Practice more in your free time."
After finally making it through her two sentences, Qi Xia sat down, her cheeks burning.
How could rough stone possibly compete with jade?
With Chen Xifan's flawless reading still fresh in everyone's ears, she couldn't help feeling hopelessly inadequate.
Her grades weren't as good as his. She couldn't even read a textbook passage properly. A heavy sense of defeat spread through her chest, and the sting in her eyes grew stronger. Resting her cheek in one hand, she stared at the textbook, but not a single word would stay in her mind.
She had no idea how she got through the next fifteen minutes.
All she remembered was that, ten minutes before class ended, Zhou Tong told them to study on their own.
Qi Xia was still lost in the earlier humiliation, her mind drifting.
Beside her, Xing Anya nudged her with an elbow and whispered, "Xia Xia, ask the School Heartthrob about this problem for me."
Qi Xia wasn't good at refusing people. Slowly, she accepted the worksheet.
The earlier embarrassment had been so awful, she now had no idea how to start a conversation with Chen Xifan.
She hesitated, staring at the difficult physics problem. Her mind wandered for a moment as she stole a glance at Chen Xifan's expression.
Finally, she summoned her courage. "Chen Xifan, could you... could you explain this problem to me?"
The moment the words left her mouth, her voice dwindled into a whisper.
Chen Xifan turned toward her. "Which one?"
"This one."
Qi Xia shifted the worksheet into the space between them. Chen Xifan leaned closer.
Her heart lurched as if she'd just been launched onto a roller coaster.
He was too close.
Qi Xia held her breath, scarcely daring to move. She could see his beautiful eyes, narrow and deep-set, his irises a soft brown. His skin was pale as porcelain, highlighting the rich color of his lips.
She stole a few glances at him, then quickly looked away.
Chen Xifan didn't notice any of it. He scanned the question, marked out the key information, and began working through the calculations. Three or four minutes later, he wrote the solution on a sheet of scratch paper.
But he didn't simply hand her the answer. "Do you have any idea how to approach it?"
"Huh?"
Qi Xia blinked, then came back to herself. She'd actually attempted this problem before, but had gotten stuck halfway through. She picked up her pencil and wrote out the approach she'd tried earlier.
Chen Xifan said nothing. He watched her work until her reasoning came to a dead end.
"Your method isn't wrong," he said. "You just missed a hidden condition, that's why you couldn't solve it."
He then continued from her approach, explaining each step.
At first, Qi Xia struggled to concentrate. But Chen Xifan was taking the time to walk her through the problem, she couldn't bear to let all his effort go to waste and forced herself to focus.
Before long, the distractions in her head faded away.
Chen Xifan explained the problem using her original approach, then showed her a simpler method. When he finished, he asked, "Understand now?"
"Mm. I get it. Thank you."
The boy lifted his chin slightly. "No big deal."
The conversation fell silent.
Embarrassed, Qi Xia added another thank-you.
At that exact moment, a gust of wind rushed through the window, billowing the curtains and sending the worksheets on the desk fluttering. Qi Xia hurried to pin them down with her hand, but the tip of her pen slipped and dragged across Chen Xifan's English textbook, leaving a long black streak.
The instant she realized what she'd done, panic seized her. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to!"
The boy looked at her.
Then, unexpectedly, the corner of his mouth curved upward.
Chen Xifan let out a soft laugh. "Qi Xia, did I scold you when I explained the problem?"
"No. Why?" Her heart tightened.
"Nothing." His tone was casual. "You just seem a little afraid of me."
No one had ever acted so painstakingly careful around him.
As soon as he finished speaking, the bell rang.
More voices rose throughout the classroom, He Xiao came over to ask Chen Xifan to go to the convenience store. Girls in the back row linked arms and headed for the restroom.
It was as if someone had lifted a spell of silence, all the noise came rushing back at once.
The classroom grew loud and chaotic, swallowing Qi Xia's voice before it could travel.
No one heard her murmur.
‘I'm not afraid of you. I'm afraid I won't be able to hide how much I like you.’
The seat beside her emptied almost immediately, so quickly that Qi Xia began to wonder whether she'd imagined the entire class.
For one brief lesson, Chen Xifan had been her desk mate.
It felt like a beautiful dream, and the moment she woke, the eyes that had been so close, the fluttering panic in her chest, all dissolved into foam.
To Chen Xifan, she was no more than a stray mark across a textbook page, insignificant enough to fade with time.
---
Ever since Zhou Tong had called on her to read aloud in English class, Qi Xia had become one of her regular targets.
Every English lesson, Zhou Tong would ask her to read.
Qi Xia genuinely wanted to improve, but spoken English wasn't something she could master overnight. All she could do was force herself to open her mouth again and again while Zhou Tong corrected her, time after time.
The process was agonizing. Every time she finished reading, her cheeks and ears were bright red.
After English class one day, Qi Xia covered her face dejectedly.
"I'm so terrible."
Xu Youfei comforted her. "Baby, relax. Teacher Zhou graduated from the Foreign Affairs University and studied abroad for three years. Just think of it as getting a free private tutor. The more you speak, the better you'll get."
Xing Anya chimed in. "Have you heard of catastrophizing? It's when people imagine the worst possible outcome while doing something, even though ninety-nine percent of the things we worry about never happen. Xia Xia, just speak up! You're way better than an Indian!"
"Thanks."
Qi Xia felt a rush of warmth at their encouragement and asked, "How do you two usually learn English?"
"I moved abroad when I was seven. The environment forced me to learn," Xu Youfei said. "People like my brother and He Xiao grew up with bilingual education. I think you really need someone to practice with."
Xing Anya nodded. "Agreed! You have us."
With her friends' encouragement, Qi Xia adjusted her mindset. She began spending more time speaking English with her two desk mates every day.
---
One afternoon after class, Qi Xia received a call from Xu Youfei.
She'd gotten her period and was stuck in the restroom, desperately asking Qi Xia to bring her a sanitary pad.
Qi Xia dug one out of her schoolbag and hurried to the restroom as fast as she could. On the way, she took a shortcut through a tree-lined path.
The weather had begun warming up, and the trees along the walkway were thick with fresh green growth. A clean, woody fragrance hung in the air.
As Qi Xia walked, she lifted her head.
A familiar figure suddenly appeared in her line of sight.
Chen Xifan was walking toward her with several boys and girls, each carrying a thick stack of exercise books. Sunlight filtered through the tender green leaves, dappling his shoulders with light and shadow.
He looked like the leading man in an old movie, making his entrance with effortless ease.
Qi Xia froze.
Before her mind could catch up, her feet had already carried her toward a narrow stone path off to the side.
She didn't even know why she was hiding.
Later, when she thought about it, she figured it was probably because she'd been called on to read so many times lately, and her spoken English had been so awful. Surely Chen Xifan had formed a terrible impression of her.
A rockery stood between the stone path and the tree-lined walkway. Qi Xia stopped behind it, and before long, the group drew closer.
A girl's voice rang out clearly.
"That Qi Xia from our class is honestly hilarious when she speaks English. I've never seen anyone with such terrible spoken English. The second she opens her mouth, I want to laugh."
Qi Xia recognized the voice.
It belonged to Sun Xiaojie, the Chinese class representative from Class 5. They didn't interact much.
The girl was only stating a fact. Qi Xia had no way to argue with it. She bit her lip, fingers tightening around her school uniform.
Did Chen Xifan think the same thing?
More voices followed.
"Her spoken English is pretty average, sure, but she's incredible at Chinese. She ranked first in the entire grade in Chinese on the monthly exam, fifteen points higher than you, the class representative."
It was Chu Yang.
"Chu Yang, are you looking to die?"
Someone burst out laughing, eager to stir things up. "Chen Xifan, what do you think?"
The moment Qi Xia heard his name, her breathing grew shallow.
She felt like a prisoner awaiting judgment, sitting perfectly still for the verdict.
Then Chen Xifan's voice reached her.
"Didn't notice."
"What? The English teacher's been calling on her to read every day lately. You didn't notice that?"
"Why would I notice?" Chen Xifan asked in return, his tone unconcerned. "Spend less time studying other people and more time paying attention to yourself. If you've got that much free time, go do a few more practice papers."
"Okay, okay, we get it. You're a problem-solving machine."
"Talking about someone behind their back isn't great," Wei Yupeng, the Class Monitor, said, stepping in to end the conversation. "Qi Xia works hard."
The voices gradually faded into the distance.
Qi Xia slowly let out the breath she'd been holding.
Chen Xifan's words left her feeling a little relieved. At least he hadn't noticed her shortcomings.
But the relief was quickly swallowed by an enormous sense of loss.
Of course.
Someone as unremarkable as her could never draw his attention.
Then what if she became a little better?
---
Another weekend arrived.
Cao Shuwei and his entire family were heading to the suburbs for a wedding that day, which meant Qi Xia finally had a rare day off from visiting Dongmian Residential Complex.
She got up early, finished a practice paper, then stood in front of the mirror and read her English textbook aloud.
The sun was bright beneath a clear sky. Cake lay sprawled on the carpet, belly exposed as it basked in the sunlight, the sound of Qi Xia's reading made it squint awake.
She kept going until after eleven, her mouth dry and throat parched. After finishing a bottle of water, she played with Cake for a while, then decided to head to the supermarket.
She had barely stepped into the courtyard when Grandma Chen called out to her.
"Xia Xia, do you know how to take care of fish?"
Qi Lanjing was off work that day, and the neighbor next door had just entrusted their fish to Grandma Chen while they went on vacation. Unfortunately, Grandma Chen didn't really know what to do with them.
Qi Xia hurried over and answered honestly, "A little."
She pushed Grandma Chen's wheelchair inside, the first thing she saw in the living room was a square fish tank.
The water was crystal clear, several brightly colored guppies swam inside.
"Come take a look for Grandma. The fish aren't moving, some of them are floating belly-up. Do you think they're dead?"
Qi Xia stepped closer and dipped her hand into the water. "Maybe the temperature is too low. Guppies do best when the water is kept between twenty-two and twenty-six degrees Celsius. Can this tank adjust its temperature?"
"It should be able to. See if you can find the setting."
Qi Xia had seen plenty of smart fish tanks back on Yizhou Island. She searched around and quickly discovered that this one was far more sophisticated. It could automatically feed the fish and change the water, even regulate the temperature and the water's pH level.
After studying the controls for five or six minutes, she reset the water parameters.
Before long, the guppies righted themselves and began swimming slowly.
Grandma Chen lit up. "Xia Xia, you're amazing!"
Auntie Wang, the cook, chimed in. "Educated people really are something. I've been staring at all those colorful buttons on this tank for half an hour and couldn't make heads or tails of them."
Qi Xia felt embarrassed by all the praise and gave a shy smile. "It's nothing. As long as you have the manual, it's easy."
"Still, I have to thank you. If those fish had died, I wouldn't have known what to tell my old neighbor." Grandma Chen patted the back of her hand. "Have you eaten yet? Stay for lunch. My grandson and the others should be here soon."
Qi Xia's back went rigid.
Chen Xifan is coming to Baita Lane today?
Fireworks exploded chaotically in her mind. One moment she saw herself making a fool of herself reading English in class, the next she remembered the faint smile at the corner of the boy's mouth as he'd explained the physics problem.
Her thoughts were in such disarray that she quickly refused. "No, Grandma, it's okay. I have somewhere to go."
Grandma Chen couldn't very well force her to stay, but before Qi Xia left, she pressed a packet of snacks into her hands.
Once outside Baita Lane, Qi Xia stopped at a nearby supermarket and bought two bags of cat food and three cans of wet food.
Her living expenses were limited, so she'd chosen the cheapest options. On the way back, she decided to take a road she'd never walked before, curious to explore the surrounding area.
She turned into a narrow alley. Chinese scholar trees lined both sides, their foliage thick and lush, small food stalls dotted the street. A bookstore stood out strangely among them.
It had a narrow wooden door and an old sign bearing three words:
Good Study Bookstore.
As Qi Xia stepped inside, a young woman called out to her. "Who are you looking for?"
"No one. I'm just looking around."
The young woman held a paintbrush in her hand. She smiled. "Go ahead. Book rentals are one yuan a day. Stamps and new books aren't necessarily for sale."
Qi Xia had never encountered someone so casual about running a business.
She nodded. "Okay."
The bookstore was cramped, divided into two sections. One side displayed stamps, the other was for books.
Qi Xia flipped through a few books but found nothing interesting, so she turned her attention to the stamps.
She wasn't a collector, but the stamps were extraordinary.
Aviation stamps. Military stamps.
They were so striking she couldn't tear her eyes away. Some foreign stamps dating back to the 1950s were displayed inside glass frames, even at a glance, it was clear they were valuable.
Qi Xia became so absorbed that she lost track of time.
It wasn't until evening that she finally selected a few magazines and left.
Back in Baita Lane, she deliberately glanced toward the white villa as she passed through the courtyard.
As expected, Chen Xifan was on the open-air balcony.
The evening light had turned a muted gold. A sparse breeze brushed through the treetops as Qi Xia passed behind him.
She noticed that Chen Xifan and Grandma Chen weren't alone. A slender, middle-aged woman was sitting with them.
The woman wore a white short-sleeved cheongsam, her dark hair swept into a bun, a jade bracelet around her wrist. There was something deeply gentle and refined about her.
Grandma Chen called her Shuangyu.
Qi Xia guessed she must be Chen Xifan's mother.
Then she heard the woman say, "That boy of mine, Xifan, is either tinkering with his models or heading out with his friends. He's never given me much trouble. But tell me, among all those friends you go out with, are there any girls?"
Chen Xifan merely smiled, his tone laced with helplessness. "Mom, if you want to know whether I have a girlfriend, just ask."
"Fine, then I'll ask. Feifei said a girl at school gave you chocolate. So, are you dating anyone or not?"
Grandma Chen joined in, piling on. "You've got yourself a girlfriend?"
Qi Xia already knew the answer, but she still stopped walking, practically straining her ears to hear.
And Chen Xifan's response did not disappoint her.
He said lazily. "No."
Grandma Chen clicked her tongue. "You're no good at this. When I was seventeen, I'd already held your grandfather's hand and gone to the movies with him."
"When I was seventeen, your father came to the entrance of the dance academy to bring me flowers."
The two women teased him back and forth, while Chen Xifan only smiled. "Really. I don't have one."
"Don't believe you. How about you hand over your phone and let us have a look?"
Chen Xifan's expression didn't change. Perhaps to convince the two women once and for all, he pulled out his phone, his tone brimming with reckless confidence.
"Go ahead. You could take the whole thing apart if you wanted."
"Fine. Fair's fair. You look at mine, too."
Lin Shuangyu handed him her phone.
Chen Xifan couldn't be bothered to look. He took it and placed it on the table.
The two women inspected his phone, but after looking around, they found nothing suspicious. Then, when they opened QQ, they spotted an interesting username.
Lin Shuangyu said, "That's a lovely username. Who's that? Why haven't you saved their name properly?"
"Which one?"
"The one called Classmate No. 7."
Chen Xifan didn't answer.
For a moment, he seemed unable to recall who she was. After a brief silence, he replied with studied casualness.
"Just someone I know online.”
---
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