The Only Choice - 58
In front of the marriage registry office sat a café, its business perpetually lukewarm.
The street saw little foot traffic. The only patrons who wandered in were either office workers from the surrounding buildings or couples here to get married, or divorced.
On this particular afternoon, a man in a white dress shirt walked into the café. He was tall, handsome, with a gentle, refined air about him.
The two servers noticed him immediately. One picked up a menu and went over, asking what he'd like to drink.
The man ordered an Americano.
The server said, "Right away," and went back, winking at her colleague on the way. "Even better up close," she whispered.
After serving the coffee, the two servers couldn't help but watch him from a distance.
They'd never seen him here before, so he probably wasn't from the neighborhood. That meant he was here to get a marriage license? They wondered who the lucky woman was.
He looked pretty happy, though. His partner must be something special!
They watched. An hour passed.
"Here for a marriage license, really?" one server whispered. "Did he come too early because he's nervous? Or is the woman just that late?"
Just as she thought this, the bell above the door chimed as someone pushed it open.
"Welcome!" The servers watched as a young, pretty woman walked in. She wore a blouse and a short skirt, giving off a slightly studious vibe, but her outfit wasn't casual. The neat, proper blouse suggested she was here for official photos, probably for the license itself.
Sure enough, the girl sat down opposite the man.
The servers exchanged a look. So the handsome guy was here with the pretty girl to get married!
Guan Yuanbai had arrived at the café a full hour before Zhou Fanfan.
The marriage registry office was right outside the window. Couples came and went, some radiant newlyweds, some bitter pairs on the brink of separation.
He watched them for a long time. And as he watched, a fear began to gnaw at him: what if Zhou Fanfan didn't come?
He knew she had no real desire to get married. He knew her sudden agreement was solely because of her grandmother. But selfishly, he didn't want to let this chance go.
He even secretly hoped that maybe, just maybe, she felt that marrying him wouldn't be so bad after all.
He finished one cup of coffee and ordered another.
Finally, he saw her walk in. She wore a white blouse and a grey pleated skirt. The blouse was the formal kind.
Guan Yuanbai quietly let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding.
"Have you been waiting long?" Zhou Fanfan sat down.
"Not long at all." Guan Yuanbai paused. "Your… blouse is nice."
Zhou Fanfan glanced down at her clothes. She'd changed into them this morning.
Because a few days ago, they'd agreed to meet at the civil affairs bureau this afternoon.
Back then, she'd thought: if she had to get married someday, she hoped it would be with Guan Yuanbai. She really liked him. Being with him made her happy.
And, if she was honest with herself, her private fear was that her grandmother didn't have much time left. She wanted to fulfill her wish.
But just hours ago at the hospital, her grandmother had voiced the very concerns lurking in her own heart.
Proposing marriage to him under these circumstances… it changed the nature of things.
It wasn't born from pure affection or a firm decision, but from an external factor.
It wasn't fair to Guan Yuanbai. It wasn't fair to what they had.
"Would you like a coffee?" Guan Yuanbai asked. "Or shall we go in now?"
Zhou Fanfan shook her head. "No coffee."
"Alright. Let's go then."
Guan Yuanbai stood up.
Zhou Fanfan caught the hem of his shirt. "Wait… We…"
The slight smile on Guan Yuanbai's face faded as he saw her hesitation. "Now that we're really here, you're realizing this might be a mistake, is that it?"
Zhou Fanfan's head snapped up. "No, that's not it! It's just… Grandma said this morning that proposing marriage to you right now is inappropriate. That it doesn't show you enough respect. She was worried you might feel used… And honestly, I think so too. Marriage should happen when both people genuinely, wholeheartedly want to be together. Not when there's some other goal, "
"You don't genuinely want to be with me? You don't just want to marry me? I know that already," he said abruptly.
Zhou Fanfan froze. "Of course I genuinely want to be with you!"
A bitter ache spread through Guan Yuanbai's chest. "But you only want to be with me now. You haven't thought about the future. You don't want to think about the future. You have no trust or expectation for it, do you?"
Zhou Fanfan's fingers curled slightly.
He was right. She had always been like this…
When she was with him, she was happy. Sometimes she even caught herself looking forward to 'later.' But most of the time, she felt that being happy now was enough.
Because marriage still made her apprehensive. If not for her grandmother, she would never have suggested getting married now.
Guan Yuanbai saw the truth in her expression. He'd guessed correctly.
He'd sensed it from the very beginning of their relationship. Zhou Fanfan had a certain numbness when it came to romantic relationships. She used to think dating was boring and pointless, so marriage wasn't even on her radar.
He'd known this. He just always believed he could slowly open her heart, gradually make her feel the joy of it.
But clearly, he hadn't succeeded yet.
"Zhou Fanfan," he said, his voice low. "Do you really not want to get married now because you think the situation is inappropriate? Because you're worried about what I might think? Or is it that, deep down, you just don't want to get married at all? You panicked and proposed before, but now you've calmed down, and you know you're still unwilling."
Zhou Fanfan looked at his slightly cold expression, and her heart constricted painfully.
She stood up, but her mouth opened and closed, no words coming out. She didn't even know if what he said was right, if it was truly what she felt herself…
"I knew it," he said, a self-deprecating smile touching his lips. "You don't love me that much. I just… I wanted to seize this chance to keep you by my side for good." He let out a soft, bitter breath. "I was overthinking it. Let's call today off."
With that, he turned and walked away.
The bell chimed as the door opened and shut. He walked quickly, disappearing from sight in an instant.
Zhou Fanfan stood rooted to the spot, suddenly drowned by an indescribable wave of panic and pain.
She took two steps, wanting to chase after him, to explain something… but explain what, exactly?
It was true she had proposed out of panic and fear. And it was true that, now she'd calmed down, she felt getting married now wasn't right.
If she was this wishy-washy, did she really love him at all?
Zhou Fanfan stood there for a long time before finally sinking back into the chair, drained of all energy. She looked at the coffee he hadn't finished, a film of moisture gathering in her eyes.
Everything felt blurry, shrouded in feeling lost of blank, vast, and indistinct confusion.
"Miss, would you… like to order something?" A server approached after a while.
Zhou Fanfan shook her head and got up to leave.
Seeing that both were gone, the server sighed and went back to her colleague. "What a shame. They didn't get their license."
The hospital night was quiet, save for the soft footsteps of the nurses.
Zhou Fanfan couldn't sleep. She walked out to the small sitting area and sat there, lost in thought.
She and Guan Yuanbai hadn't exchanged a single message since they parted that afternoon.
She opened his WeChat, stared at it for a long time, and finally typed: [I'm sorry.]
A few minutes later, he replied: [Take good care of your grandmother. Don't overthink it.]
A moment later, another message came: [I have a business trip tomorrow. Please tell your grandmother I won't be able to pick her up from the hospital.]
Zhou Fanfan looked down at his replies. She wanted to ask if he was really going on a trip, or if he was just saying that because he was angry and didn't want to see her.
But she didn't dare ask. She was the one who had messed up. What right did she have to question him?
Zhou Fanfan: [Okay. I'll tell her.]
Guan Yuanbai:[Mn.]
Zhou Fanfan curled her legs up, resting her chin on her knees. Her eyes felt hot again.
[Good night.]
[Mn.Good night.]
It was the coldest 'good night' they had ever exchanged since getting together.
Two days later, Zhao Dezhen was discharged from the hospital.
Zhou Fanfan, no longer needing to take time off, returned to school. Afterwards, she met with the screenwriter and director as planned to begin preparations for assembling the "Scarlet Flames" production team.
For the next few days, Guan Yuanbai didn't send her any messages. She opened his chat window countless times, hesitating back and forth, but never knew what to say.
She knew he was angry.
So what did this silence mean now? Was he deeply disappointed in her? Was he… thinking about breaking up?
"Fanfan, heading back to the dorm?"
On Wednesday, as Zhou Fanfan was returning to her dorm from the library, she ran into Song Li at the entrance.
He was clearly waiting for Xu Xiaoqian.
Zhou Fanfan gave a slight nod. "Mn."
"Got any plans tonight?"
"No. I'm going home in a bit."
"Ah, don't go home then! I'm here to pick up Xiaoqian for dinner and karaoke. You should come too."
Zhou Fanfan shook her head. "I won't crash your date."
"What date? Karaoke isn't a date with just two people! There's a whole group. Come on, join us."
Xu Xiaoqian arrived downstairs just then and naturally invited her along too.
After some back and forth, Song Li said, "You're not refusing because Yuanbai isn't around, are you?"
Zhou Fanfan paused. "He's… not back yet?"
Song Li found that strange. "Why are you asking me? He's been in the US for days now."
Zhou Fanfan: "…"
Song Li and Xu Xiaoqian exchanged a glance, sensing something was off. "He's there for work," Song Li added quickly. "Something about new energy development. I can tell you what he's been up to. Heard he's crazy busy."
A few minutes later, Zhou Fanfan was in Song Li's car.
She sat in the back, looking out the window, listening as Song Li told her about Guan Yuanbai's current project.
She knew nothing about any of it.
He probably really is going to break up with me, she thought. When he gets back… he'll tell me then.
The thought sent a suffocating pain through her chest.
But since she was in Song Li's car, she didn't let any of it show.
Soon, they arrived at the private karaoke room.
It was indeed full of people, all attractive men and women. In contrast, she was just wearing a simple T-shirt and hadn't even put on any makeup.
"Fanfan, did you and Yuanbai… have a fight?" Song Li asked cautiously.
Zhou Fanfan glanced at him but didn't answer.
Xu Xiaoqian pulled Song Li aside. "Let's not talk about that now. I'm starving. Let's get something to eat."
"Right, right," Song Li said. "I'll have them bring some good food. Just wait a bit."
Song Li was the host today, and everyone had been waiting for him. Now they saw him fussing over two girls as soon as he arrived, and glances came their way.
Most knew one was his girlfriend. But the other one… While most didn't know who she was, a few recognized her immediately as Guan Yuanbai's girlfriend.
Before long, the food Song Li ordered for the two girls arrived, and they sat down in the dining area to eat.
"Song Li, you brought Yuanbai's girlfriend?" one of Song Li's friends came over. He waved at Zhou Fanfan. "Hi, we met before. At the resort villa."
There had been so many people at the resort that day Zhou Fanfan didn't really remember this guy, but she returned his greeting anyway.
"Yuanbai's on a business trip. Not back yet," Song Li said.
"Oh? When's he coming back? I'm having a get-together in a couple of days, wanted to invite him."
Song Li: "I don't know when he's back."
The guy looked at Zhou Fanfan, clearly assuming she would know.
Zhou Fanfan pressed her lips together. Just as she was about to say "I'm not sure either," a female voice chimed in.
"He's back the day after tomorrow."
All four of them turned to look. A girl with wavy hair and a red dress stood there, smiling at them.
There were so many people earlier Zhou Fanfan hadn't noticed her, but now she saw it was that girl named Yao Ruo.
She'd met her before. Song Li had mentioned that Guan Yuanbai's family had once hoped to set Yao Ruo up with him, but Guan Yuanbai had refused. Still, this Yao Ruo liked him.
Song Li shot a glance at Zhou Fanfan, then glared warningly at Yao Ruo. "Nonsense. How would you know?"
Yao Ruo blatantly ignored Song Li's warning and walked over, all smiles. "Yan Chenghuai's cousin, Tang Zhen, told me. She's been working with Guan Yuanbai lately. Said they'll finish up and be back the day after tomorrow."
Then, she looked directly at Zhou Fanfan. "What, you didn't know?”
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