Summer in Your Name - 86

Sheng Xia stood in the hotel lobby, her mind blank.  

How was it already one in the morning?

If it weren’t for the surprise fireworks at midnight from the bar, she would’ve sworn it was only around 8 or 9 p.m.

The entire night, she hadn’t paid attention to the time or checked her phone much. Her roommates had been frantically calling her in the dorm group chat, but she hadn’t responded at all. If they hadn’t known she was on a date with Zhang Shu, they probably would have called the police by now.

After Sheng Xia replied to confirm she was safe to her roommates, the tone in the group chat instantly shifted to blessings for “early marriage and many children.”

Reading those messages, Sheng Xia felt her whole face burn.

If it had been just past midnight, she might have been able to sweet-talk the dorm supervisor into letting her in. But at this hour, not only would she be scolded, but if luck wasn’t on her side, she might even get reported.

Besides, Xiao Mo’s battery wasn’t enough to make it back to school. If she took a taxi back, she’d have to come retrieve it tomorrow.

For all these reasons, Sheng Xia was destined to spend the night away from the dorm.

When they left the bar, Zhang Shu’s casual “Let’s get a room” had left her completely flustered.

Get a room?

Get! A! Room!

Perhaps her panic was too obvious, because Zhang Shu gently cupped her cheek and said, “If you’re uncomfortable, I’ll go back to school and pick you up tomorrow morning.”

He hadn’t brought his ID, and Haiyan dorm had no curfew, so he could return anytime.

Sheng Xia’s mind was a tangled mess. She hadn’t figured out what to do yet, so she stayed silent.

Zhang Shu took her silence as an agreement.

They walked to the hotel in silence. The moment they stepped inside, Sheng Xia kept her head so low it might as well have touched the ground, not daring to meet the front desk receptionist’s eyes.

Zhang Shu watched her with amusement, took her ID, and checked her in.

“Ma’am, please look here for facial verification,” the receptionist prompted.

Sheng Xia had no choice but to look up. Seeing the receptionist’s all-business expression, her nerves relaxed slightly.

Zhang Shu took the key card, registered as a visitor, and accompanied her upstairs to check the room.

In the elevator, they stood at opposite corners.

Sheng Xia glanced at him through the mirrored walls. He held the bouquet of French tulips in one arm, the other resting casually on the elevator railing. He leaned slightly against it, head bowed, tapping the tip of his shoe absently against the floor.

Was he thinking? Annoyed? Upset?

That night during senior year when the power went out, on the pitch-black sports field, he’d looked down at his feet just like this.

When they reached their floor, Zhang Shu stepped out. Noticing she hadn’t followed, he turned back and held the elevator door open with one hand. “What’s wrong? Don’t want to stay at a hotel?”

Sheng Xia shook her head and hurried to catch up.

Zhang Shu naturally took her hand.

The hallway mirror reflected a couple walking hand in hand, one slightly ahead of the other. They were clearly holding hands, yet Sheng Xia felt something was different.

Silence always lets thoughts run wild.

Watching his broad back ahead of her, a flutter of uneasiness tightening her chest.

Had he been upset because she didn’t immediately agree to stay together?

Truthfully, she wasn’t afraid, nor was she particularly resistant. She was just nervous. He’d said she seemed uncomfortable, and he wasn’t wrong. But her discomfort wasn’t because of him; it was because…

Even Sheng Xia couldn’t untangle the mess of her own emotions. A vague ache washed over her, one she couldn’t trace to a specific source.

Beep— The room door clicked open, and Sheng Xia tensed up again.

Zhang Shu inserted the key card, and the lights flickered on. He walked in, placed the flowers on the desk, and checked the appliances, bathroom mirror, and door lock one by one.

Sheng Xia stood by the door, watching him busy himself. Two little voices in her head were arguing fiercely. She was torn—should she ask him to stay?

And if she did, how would she even bring it up?

This was a room with just one bed.

Zhang Shu lifted the comforter to inspect it, then patted his hands together. “Everything looks fine. You can get some re—”

He glanced up mid-sentence and stopped. She was still planted by the entrance, the door wide open behind her.

It looked like she was ready to see him off any second.

Zhang Shu let out a helpless laugh, crossing his arms and staring at her quietly.

They stood there staring at each other for a few seconds before Zhang Shu finally walked over. He lifted her chin and gave her a soft kiss. “I’ll head back then. Call me if you need anything.”

Sheng Xia felt his lips weren’t as warm as before.

Distant.

The word surfaced in her mind, sending a slight chill down her spine.

She thought she understood where that ache came from now. He felt distant, no, it was the atmosphere between them that felt distant, as if it had suddenly cooled.

Seeing she hadn’t responded, Zhang Shu bent down to study her face, his tone concerned. “What’s wrong?”

Sheng Xia, summoning courage from who-knows-where, met his gaze and asked, “Are you mad at me?”

Zhang Shu looked puzzled. “Why would I be? What’s there to be mad about?”

“Mad that I didn’t ask you to stay… to sleep with me…” The words were so hard to say she nearly stumbled over them.

Zhang Shu was taken aback. He hadn’t expected her to think that. Cupping her face, he said, “Why would you think that? This is my fault. Tell me, why do you think I’m mad?”

His candid expression and worried tone made it clear—she had probably overthought it.

But women were never easy to appease. Her emotions had been abstract before, but his coaxing made them concrete. Her nose stung almost instantly. “You didn’t say anything the whole way. In the elevator, you were looking at your feet. You, you…”

As she tried to put her ‘complaint’ into words, she realized there wasn’t much substance to it.

She stumbled through her sentences: “I don’t know. It just felt like you suddenly felt… distant.”

Just then, another guest walked down the hallway, glancing curiously into the room.

Zhang Shu reached out to close the door, then pulled her into his arms. Cutting straight to the point, he said, “Distant? I’d tie you to my belt if I could. I was just thinking about something.”

“Did you have to think for that long?” Sheng Xia challenged. He’d been thinking since they left the bar!

Zhang Shu let out a soft laugh, sounding utterly helpless. “I’ll probably be thinking about it all night.”

Did she have any idea how much courage and willpower it took to get a room for your girlfriend and then slink back to the dorm alone?

“What’re you thinking about?”

Zhang Shu didn’t know how to explain it to her. He was afraid the truth would scare her even more.

“Let’s just call it… an eternal wonder of human nature.”

Sheng Xia: …

Only when he felt her body relax slightly did he let go. “What’s this about me looking at my feet?”

“The last time you looked down like that, silent and staring at your feet, was on the sports field at High School Affiliated. And then… you told me ‘let’s end things here.’”

Zhang Shu hadn’t expected that answer.

He’d always known Sheng Xia was observant and sensitive, but not to this extent.

This was a habit of his when he was wrestling with something, one he hadn’t even noticed himself.

He’d avoided being too intimate along the way because he was worried she’d overthink it, worried she’d feel he was easing into something, worried she’d feel pressured. But he hadn’t been distant, had he? They’d held hands the whole time.

Turns out, the things men and women noticed and cared about were truly different.

In a close relationship, understanding these differences was crucial.

Ultimately, it was his fault for not making her feel secure enough.

Zhang Shu hugged her tightly again, removing her cumbersome hat and smoothing her hair with his palm. “It won’t be like that again. Never again.”  

Even as he said it, the words felt inadequate. He wasn’t good at sweet talk, so he tried a different approach: “I was in the wrong today. You did the right thing. If something bothers you, say it. If something confuses you, ask. Thank you for not making me guess all night.”

If something bothers you, say it. If something confuses you, ask.

She’d done the right thing.

Sheng Xia hadn’t expected him to see it that way. She’d been agonizing over whether she’d made too big a deal out of nothing, whether she’d been too sensitive.

“You don’t think I’m being difficult?”

Zhang Shu replied without hesitation, “This is being difficult? No way. I’ve always known your train of thought is… unique.”

Sheng Xia’s face fell.

“Couples need time to adjust to each other. It’s normal. ” Zhang Shu said, realizing he’d spoken too bluntly and quickly trying to backtrack. “Though, personally, I think we’re a perfect match, match made in heaven.”

Sheng Xia was amused by his somewhat smug tone.

He hadn’t really said much, yet somehow, she felt much better.

She raised her arms, slipping them inside his open coat and wrapping them around his waist. She buried her face in his chest, nuzzling against him as if trying to get closer.

Above her, she heard his soft, helpless laugh. “Sheng Xia, stop moving. Let me hold you for a bit, then I really have to go.”

Did she really not know how lethal it was to be this close?

After a quiet moment holding her, Zhang Shu let go. “It’s late. Get some sleep. Call me when you wake up, or anytime, if you need anything.”  

 

Sheng Xia wanted to tell him to be careful on the way back, but it felt too much like rushing him out, so she just nodded.

Zhang Shu opened the door and stepped out, then turned back suddenly. He lifted her chin, leaned down, and kissed her. “I’m going.”

“Mm.”

“Mm. Remember to call.”

“Mm.”

“Okay. Sleep well.”

“Mm.”

Zhang Shu pressed his lips into a thin line, glancing back every few steps until he reached the corner, where he waved. “Close the door and lock it.”

He didn’t press the elevator button until he heard the door shut.

Sheng Xia leaned against the door, staring at the empty room. Her heart felt just as empty. The air conditioner hummed, blowing warm air, its sound especially loud in the quiet space.

She didn’t know how long she stood there before finally gathering her things to shower. With no change of clothes, she had to wear the bathrobe. She washed her underwear and hung it by the vent, with how dry winter air was, it would be dry by morning.

By the time she finished, it was past 2 a.m. As she was about to lie down, she noticed her phone was almost dead, so she called the front desk to ask for a charger.

The girl at the front desk replied, “There’s one in the bedside drawer, ma’am. It works with any port.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“You’re welcome, ma’am.” the receptionist said, her professional tone suddenly shifting, voice lowering. “Um, your friend is still here, resting in the lobby. The lobby has the heater on, but it might get a bit cold late at night…”

Something seemed to snap in Sheng Xia’s mind. She froze. “What? He didn’t leave?”

The receptionist, not wanting to overstep, returned to her professional tone. “Would you like the hotel to assist with anything?”

“No, thank you.”

After hanging up, Sheng Xia rushed toward the door in her slippers, then glanced down at herself—she was in a bathrobe with nothing underneath. She stopped and instead dialed Zhang Shu’s number.

He answered after the first ring. “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you asleep? Did something happen?”

Sheng Xia was at a loss. Should she scold him for pretending to leave? Or order him to go back to school immediately?

Her silence lasted only a few seconds, but she could hear hurried footsteps and the ding of an elevator.

In the quiet night, even the sound of the elevator ascending was unusually clear.

Sheng Xia stayed quiet, pressing her ear against the door. Not a single sound reached her, whether he was moving too carefully or the carpet was too thick, she couldn’t tell.  

But she was certain he was rushing toward her, and now, he had arrived.

Sheng Xia opened the door.

Outside, a tall, handsome figure blocked the overhead light in the hallway. His phone still pressed to his ear, his chest rising and falling with slightly labored breaths.

Zhang Shu was clearly caught off guard. He hadn’t even had time to knock, and she’d already opened the door.

They stared at each other in silence, neither lowering their phones.

Sheng Xia looked directly at him, not asking anything.

What was there to ask? Why hadn’t he gone back? The answer was obvious, wasn’t it?

A silent phone call had flustered him enough to rush over immediately, how worried was he about leaving her here alone?

Sheng Xia spoke softly into the phone. “Um, there seems to be something dirty outside the window. I’m… a little scared.”

She didn’t ask, and he didn’t explain why he was at her door at this hour.

He hung up first, avoiding her eyes slightly. Hesitantly, he asked, “So, what do you want to…”

Before he could finish, she took his hand and pulled him inside.

Sheng Xia kept her head down. Zhang Shu could only see her high bun, her damp neck, and her bright red ears.

They stood there silently for who knows how long until the electronic door emitted a sharp beep—beep— alarm from being left open too long.

Zhang Shu felt her tug his hand again, her head bowing even lower.

His Adam’s apple bobbed. He stepped inside, hooked his foot around the door, and pushed it shut with a thud. The alarm stopped.

Sheng Xia didn’t know what to say either. Without looking at him, she turned and walked further into the room, awkwardly mumbling, “Um, you should wash up first. It’s late.”

Zhang Shu naturally didn’t ask where the ‘dirty thing’ was.

In fact, he had almost fallen asleep when her call came. Her silence had worried him, and then seeing her in a bathrobe—he was unusually dazed, as if caught in the haze of a dream.  

So he didn’t say much either. He changed into slippers, took off his jacket, planning to shower to calm down. But as soon as he entered the bathroom, he froze again.

What was that hanging on the bathroom clothesline?

“Sheng Xia.” His voice was slightly hoarse.

Sheng Xia approached, standing outside the door. “Yeah?”

Zhang Shu opened the bathroom door, his expression dark. “Your stuff.”

Sheng Xia looked up, and just like that, her freshly calmed down face burned again.

Her underwear!

Sure, it was plain black cotton, nothing suggestive, but still…

Oh god, help.

“Right. I’ll take them. Go ahead and shower.” Trying to act calm, she hurried in, grabbed the hanger, and quickly closed the door behind her.

In the steamy mist, Zhang Shu braced one hand against the wall, head bowed as water streamed over his hair and down his firm shoulders. The water was warm, irritatingly so. Someone said water was like a woman’s touch.

He’d never understood that before. Growing up, he always took cold showers, regardless of the season. After his injury, he’d been advised to take hot showers, but even then, the comparison had never crossed his mind. Today, though, was different.

Wrong. Her hands were softer than water.

He laughed suddenly, pushing back the hair clinging to his forehead and scrubbing his face roughly with both hands.  

Damn!

This was really going to be the death of him.

Sheng Xia burrowed under the covers in her heavy, damp bathrobe. Her phone screen flicked from the dorm group chat to a private chat with Xin Xiaohe and Tao Zhizhi, then back to the dorm chat. In the dead of night, what was she supposed to do? Who could she turn to?

Why did it feel like no one could save her?

The little voices in her heart were arguing again. Should she pretend to be asleep now? Or wait until he comes out and calmly tell him, “There’s only one bed, so you sleep on the floor”? And if he refused, with no extra bedding in the room, would she then reluctantly let him share the other half of the bed?

Wuwu, help! 

Before she could reach any conclusion, the bathroom door opened. Steam billowed out, and Sheng Xia instinctively tossed her phone aside and shut her eyes tightly.

Wuwu, the latter option required steady execution, and she was not cut out for that. 

A shadow fell over her, warmth radiating toward her. Sheng Xia was so nervous her toes curled under the covers.

Was he looking at her? What’s he going to do?

But after a long while, he still hadn’t moved. So long that her eyelids began to feel heavy. Then the warmth receded, the main light switched off, and the right side of the bed dipped slightly.

He had gotten into bed.

After some rustling, everything fell silent.

Sheng Xia’s eyelids fluttered open slightly. She cautiously tried to see if he was asleep but unexpectedly met his dark, bright eyes. She immediately squeezed her eyes shut again!

Why was he facing her?

Why was he still awake?

He didn’t see her, right?

The room was lit only by a small floor lamp. He definitely hadn’t seen her!

Sheng Xia’s heart pounded so hard it felt like it might leap out of her throat.

He still didn’t move.

…Maybe he really didn't see her?

Curiosity killed the cat. She slowly opened her eyes again. This time, before she could fully see what was in front of her, his presence suddenly surged toward her!

Sheng Xia’s waist was pulled by a strong force. She collided with a firm but not uncomfortable ‘wall’. Then her chin was lifted, and a fierce kiss overwhelmed her.

The series of actions happened so smoothly she had no time to react before her body surrendered to the familiar rhythm of his kiss.

Her lips were nibbled and sucked, urgent and intense. In an instant, his tongue slipped in, sweeping recklessly through her mouth. Her own tongue had nowhere to hide, tangled and stirred madly.

Her mouth, her breath, her airways, her entire world was filled with his scent…

They’d shared countless kisses, but none had ever been like this.

Beneath her was the bed. Above her was his burning chest. The intimacy made her heart tremble.

He held nothing back, as if pouring everything into this.

Every peck, every suck, every bite left its mark. The arm around her waist held her with astonishing strength, as though he wanted to meld her into his very being. Sheng Xia had never seen Zhang Shu like this, like a caged beast, desperate and unrestrained.

She could barely breathe. The base of her tongue was sucked fiercely, numb with pain. Sheng Xia let out a soft moan, “Mmh…”

The next second, the covers were thrown aside. The belt of her bathrobe disappeared somewhere and the sudden chill made her shiver… He quietly moved over her, pausing for a long moment.

Sheng Xia’s eyes flew open!

“Mmph, A-Shu… ” She reached out, but her hands were immediately pinned above her head. His hands were like fuses.

“Mm… ” Her upper body was completely restrained, she could only twist her lower half.

Her body felt so strange, unfamiliar in ways she couldn’t understand, so she had to do something to ease it.

Zhang Shu’s lips finally left hers. He propped himself up on one arm, gazing down at her obsessively.

His eyes were slightly red, and his entire body radiated heat.

Sheng Xia’s eyes shifted from dazed to startled and embarrassed, but there was no trace of resistance in them.

A moment later, his lips pressed down again, gently holding her lower lip as softly as kissing a cloud.

Wind whispered through mountain valleys; fuses sizzled across open fields.

“A-Shu… ” she called out weakly.

“Mm…” he mumbled back.

“A-Shu, mmph…”

“Be good. Don’t call me.”

Zhang Shu couldn’t handle hearing her calling him like this. He broke the kiss, reached out to pull the covers over her, then collapsed on top of her, burying his face in the crook of her neck as he tried to steady his breathing.

Sheng Xia stared blankly at the ceiling, gasping for air.

So heavy.

After a long while, both their breathing stabilized. Zhang Shu reached up to find her head, a messy, fluffy mess.

He remained buried in the crook of her neck, unwilling to move, only occasionally stroking her head with his palm.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Don’t be scared, don’t be scared…” he murmured soothingly.

Even if he wouldn’t be okay tonight.

After a while, he propped himself up again, looking down at her.

She saw his eyelids lift slightly, revealing bloodshot eyes. Sheng Xia was stunned, his eyes hadn’t looked like this when they first entered the room…

His gaze traced her face as his hand framed her face, fingers brushing over her eyes, eyebrows, and forehead…

He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Sleep?"

Sheng Xia pulled the covers over her eyes and nodded under them. “Mm, mm!”

Even that single syllable came out hoarse.

Zhang Shu rolled back onto his own pillow, propping his head on his hand as he turned toward her.

Sheng Xia felt suffocated but didn’t dare emerge, unsure what was happening above.

Just as she was about to reach her limit, a slender hand tugged the covers down, uncovering her nose. “Sleeping in a bathrobe will give you a rash. I promise I won’t touch you. Take it off to sleep.”

Sheng Xia didn’t move.

She never slept naked, let alone with someone else in the bed.

Thinking she was just shy, Zhang Shu added fuel to the fire: “It’s pretty much off already anyway.”

Sheng Xia felt like her brain was about to explode.

Could he just shut up!

The already slightly wavering Sheng Xia now felt rebellious and refused to move.

Suddenly, she heard him sigh with laughter. She couldn’t see his face, but she knew he was grinning. That teasing grin!

So annoying!

Then the person who’d just promised not to touch her wrapped his arms around her again. Sheng Xia instinctively let out a startled yelp.

“Ah—” Her waist was encircled, and she was turned onto her side. The bathrobe under her was pulled away. His arm was strong and sure, tossing it onto a chair in one motion before releasing her, letting her fall back into place.

Throughout this, the covers had shielded her front, but when she’d turned, her back and the back of her legs were completely exposed.

When he pulled the robe away, had he seen?

Did he or didn’t he?

Ahh ahh ahh!

“Sleep.” This time, he didn’t turn toward her but lay properly on his back, eyes closed.

Sheng Xia, however, because of his earlier movement, was now lying half on her side.

The room fell into silence.

Sheng Xia closed her eyes, but sleep refused to come.

How was she supposed to sleep?

Her mind was filled with what had just happened, replaying it from a third-person perspective like a film reel.

She could even imagine the firm lines of his back.

Ah ah ah!

She’d never had such good spatial awareness during math class!

The more she thought, the more restless she felt.

She was burning up!

He was lying beside her now, just a few dozen centimeters away, sharing the same blanket. The dip in the middle was like a demilitarized zone, separating the air under the covers between them.

Otherwise, he would’ve known just how hot she was right now.

What about him? Was he hot too?

Thinking this, Sheng Xia’s body moved faster than her mind. Her foot carefully ventured across the ‘demilitarized zone’, but as soon as it crossed, her toes bumped against his leg.

Sheng Xia froze.

Zhang Shu turned his head immediately. The sound of his hair rubbing against the pillow was sharp, sounding to Sheng Xia like a death knell.

“Do you not want to sleep?” His voice was also unusually hoarse.

Sheng Xia shook her head vigorously, not even opening her eyes.

Another rustle—he must have turned back.

Sheng Xia slowly opened her eyes, but he suddenly turned again. She squeezed her eyes shut before they could meet.

This time, even if thunder roared and hail fell, she would not open her eyes again!

Zhang Shu let out a soft, exasperated laugh through his nose.

Sheng Xia had no idea how she fell asleep, probably from exhaustion.

Hearing her even breathing, Zhang Shu resisted the urge to turn and look at her, afraid the slightest movement would wake her. So he lay there with his eyes open, waiting for his restless, excited body to calm down.

Soft and Squishy.

That word wasn’t quite right.

Soft, yes, but not quite squishy. The elastic modulus for deformation was probably greater than 1 megapascal.

Was that what a pure fat object felt like?

Like holding a warm, soft water dumpling—unbreakable, kneadable, the knot at the top occasionally brushing against his palm…

Forgetting everything was a matter of an instant.

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