Summer in Your Name - 81

Sheng Xia gazed at his unusually serious face. “Haven’t we always been going on dates?”

Zhang Shu was in disbelief. “Always?”

Sheng Xia: “You come over often, don’t you?”

Zhang Shu: “That counts as a date? This is the first time I’ve met a girlfriend so easy to please.”

“How many other girlfriends do you have?” Sheng Xia seized on his slip, muttering under her breath, “No wonder you’re so good at kissing…”

Rarely at a loss for words, Zhang Shu paused, then burst into laughter. “Look who’s getting clever, picking apart my words now? How many girlfriends do I have, don’t you know? Want me to list them? Girlfriend No. 1: The brilliantly talented Sheng Xia. Girlfriend No. 2: The stationery-obsessed Disney Princess. Girlfriend No. 3... Hmm, who’s No. 3 again? Ah, right. The Soft and Squishy who’s terrified of ghosts…”

Sheng Xia, flustered and embarrassed, reached out to shove him.   

Zhang Shu wobbled, nearly toppling his bike over, but his laughter only grew more unrestrained. Then suddenly caught a slip in her words too, Suppressing a grin, he leaned in close. "What did you just say? 'Good at kissing'? How do you define 'good at kissing'? So, you’re saying you like it?”

Caught off guard by this counterattack, Sheng Xia’s still-racing heart grew even more frantic. She turned her face away. “I’m hungry. I’m going to eat. You go play with your Girlfriend No. 2!”  

With that, she marched ahead.  

Zhang Shu, leading his bike, followed unhurriedly.

“Why No. 2? Can’t I have No. 3?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not dark yet. No ghosts around.”

“…What about No. 1?”

“No. 1’s hungry.”

“No. 1’s boyfriend, Zhang Shu, is hungry too.”

"Alright then, No. 1 will take Zhang Shu to eat.”  

The two had dinner at a cafeteria they hadn’t tried before, then as usual, took a stroll around campus to digest.  

The sunset sank swiftly, and the streetlights flickered on in an instant, casting fragmented golden light through the trees onto the shoulders of passersby.   

Sheng Xia walked half a step behind Zhang Shu, her hand clasped tightly in his, her head lowered, stepping on his shadow as she went.

In the quiet between them, she murmured, "Feels like you’re the one who went to Heqing, you know your way around better than I do."  

Zhang Shu didn’t feign modesty. “I definitely know my way better than you."  

Sheng Xia: “Oh, and the further we walk, the fewer people there are.”

What kind of path was he picking? Who knew what his purpose was?  

Zhang Shu stopped and turned back. "I’ve noticed your eloquence has been improving lately?”

Always finding a way to jab back, her words layered with meaning—resentful, reproachful, willful.

Like a cat swiping its claws.  

He loved it.  

Sheng Xia replied, “Because No. 1 is so brilliantly talented?”

Zhang Shu laughed soundlessly. “There’s no camphor tree in Heyan, so how’d someone learn to be this shameless?”

“Mm, must be because ‘one takes on the color of one’s company’?" Sheng Xia looked up, struggling to hold back a smile.  

This was truly unbearable. Zhang Shu lowered his head, pretending he was about to kiss her again. If this kept up, it would never end. Remembering she still had questions for him, Sheng Xia decided to take the initiative to rose on her toes and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

Zhang Shu, caught off guard, was momentarily stunned.  

While he was still dazed, she advanced to retreat, stepping back half a step and swinging their clasped hands playfully. “I heard your department is full of top talents, and everyone’s really busy."  

The day school started, he’d made an appearance in front of her roommate. That night, Dorm 322 held its first late night gossip session, with him as the hot topic.    

Sheng Xia had never been in his academic level and competition before and had never looked into schools and majors at that prestige, so she hadn’t realized how legendary the Computer Science Department in Zhang Shu’s School of Information really was.  

That night, she received a crash course from her roommates.  

Their department was notoriously dubbed the ‘Noble Department’. Hard to get into, even harder to get out of, a den of prodigies and madmen where you either emerged a legend or collapsed into oblivion.  

So why did Zhang Shu seem so… at ease?   

Zhang Shu, coming back to himself, stared at her placating hand. "Are you implying I visit too often?"  

What was this?  

A half-hearted pat to brush him off?  

Was he annoying her?  

"I’m not saying that!" she said earnestly. “It's just, I met with my advisor today, and it got me thinking... Have you already figured out how you're going to navigate these four years? I feel like I still don’t have a clue about anything."  

She was busy all day with this and that, but looking back, she didn’t even know what she was busy with.  

While he always seemed so composed.  

Even though his situation was objectively more stressful.  

Zhang Shu led her toward the grassy edge of the lawn.  

It was dark now, and few people were on the lawn.  

Sheng Xia sat hugging her knees, while Zhang Shu sat with his hands braced behind him, long legs slightly bent, his posture relaxed and casual.  

"Then what do you think university is?" he asked, turning his head to tuck the strands of hair falling over her shoulder behind her neck.

Her neck was slender, startlingly pale in the dark. Its gentle curves vanished into her collarbone.  

Zhang Shu’s gaze returned to her profile, and he unconsciously rubbed the bridge of his nose.  

Sheng Xia stared at the scattered lights of the library across the lake and answered. "The Way of the Great Learning* lies in illuminating bright virtue, in loving the people, in abiding in the highest good. Although that ‘great learning’ isn’t the same as this ‘university,’ it’s ultimately about the learning of becoming more, it should be different from high school.”

Zhang Shu nodded. "Mm. And then?"  

Sheng Xia: "But it seems like I’m still just following the schedule to classes, read whatever the professors assign…. Isn’t that just high school all over again? I have this nagging feeling it’s not enough, but I don’t know where to start…"    

She also turned her head, meeting Zhang Shu’s gaze. "I’m a bit lost.”

Lost. The word perfectly summed up her current state.

And after meeting her advisor, that feeling had only intensified.  

She repeated Duke Tan’s words almost verbatim to Zhang Shu.  

"The teacher said this major is different, where you come from, where you’re going… think it through. How to study, understand from the very start. Don’t idle, but don’t waste time either… What do you think he meant?"  

Zhang Shu: “Why didn’t you ask the teacher directly then?”

"Because the other students were there too. The teacher wasn’t speaking just to me; he probably wanted everyone to have their own understanding?”

Zhang Shu ruffled her hair. “You’re lost just in time."  

As she stared blankly, he tilted sideways and laid his head on her lap, looking up at her.

His head was heavy, a solid weight pressing into her thighs. Sheng Xia shifted uneasily, but he seemed oblivious, continuing naturally. “I don’t know much about your field, but some principles are universal.”  

"Our department is really busy. A lot of people got in through informatics competitions, the first-year core courses are just a formality for them, while I’m stuck studying what they consider formality. By junior year, the gap might becomes even more obvious. For a lot of these students, the textbooks are even outdated. It’s not uncommon for non-competition students to be crushed all the way to graduation. The disparity, the frustration, the feeling of loss, everyone goes through it. No need to panic.”

As he spoke, his head kept shifting slightly, the back of his skull brushing against her thigh.  

Sheng Xia leaned back, her eyes avoiding his. “But you’re the top scorer. The freshman representative. The one who gave a speech in front of everyone."  

He was so exceptional—could he also feel lost?

"That was partly due to the social influence at the time. Academically, I wasn’t the most outstanding,” Zhang Shu said casually, as if he weren’t evaluating himself. “Besides, a strong start doesn’t guarantee the finish. In Haiyan, who doesn’t have a few top scorers around them? It doesn’t mean anything."  

He looked at her, his head turning…

Sheng Xia felt her leg go numb, her body as if electrified. 

"Maybe this is what your mentor meant by 'where you’ve come from and where you’re going’? Understand clearly the path you took to get here, and what you want to do next. Don’t idle aimlessly, but don't waste time on the wrong path either.”    

His voice pulled her focus back.

Sheng Xia finally looked down, meeting his gaze.

The young man’s eyes were still bright in the darkness.

Some people have this power—just one look when they spoke, and you were pinned like a target, surrendering belief unconditionally.

Sheng Xia suddenly remembered when she’d failed her first monthly exam in senior year. He'd done the same thing then, too: starting with his own experiences, stepping into her shoes, reasoning by analogy, lighting the way forward.  

Back then, he’d looked at her just like this.

The fiery passion of youth and the calm clarity of adulthood coexisted in him seamlessly.

A thought rose unbidden in her heart—  

What have I ever done to deserve this?  

“So, what’s A-Shu planning to do?”

Zhang Shu twirled a loose strand of her hair around his finger, absentmindedly playing with it.  

His plan.

This question, he hadn’t figured it out yet either. What to do? Coming onto a new platform, only to realize that past strengths were nothing but fleeting clouds, not even solid enough to serve as stepping stones. So what should he do?  

"Find your own path.”

The words came suddenly, low and resolute.

In answering her, he had, in that very moment, found his own clarity.

High School’s path forward was simple: study—study until you’ve worn out ten thousand books.  

But university was different. More important than studying was finding your own path—reading the right books.

Perhaps his path wasn’t in coding at all. Or at least, not solely in coding. On that path, others’ starting lines were too far ahead, their dust impossible to catch. Why fixate on a single plot of land?  

Find your own path…  

Sheng Xia silently repeated the phrase, deep in thought, when she felt an arm hook around her neck, tugging her down. The next second, warm lips pressed against hers.  

Zhang Shu tilted his head up and kissed her fiercely, then let go just as suddenly, his head falling back onto her knees. "Tell me, aren’t you a treasure?"  

Sheng Xia stared at his radiant smile, momentarily dazed.

Zhang Shu sat up and ruffled her hair. “Don’t overthink it. You pushed yourself too hard in high school. It’s normal to feel off when you suddenly slow down. People don’t need to have goals for every phase of life. As long as you stay on the right path, that’s enough. Didn’t I say before? Sheng Xia should always do what she loves. If you love writing books, go write books. If you love research, go write papers. Do what you love to the fullest, isn’t that the most amazing thing?"  

As for the mundane things the world demands, things that required competition, pursuit, and sprinting to obtain.  

He’d handle those.  

Sheng Xia stared at him and nodded.  

She felt his head drawing closer.

"It’s dark now…" he spoke, his voice extremely near and low, his breath dusting her face.  

Sheng Xia instinctively leaned back, not understanding. “Mm…huh?”

Suddenly, her head was cupped, her lips kissed. The corner of his mouth curved up. "It’s dark, let’s see if No. 3 is back…”

No. 3.

“No. 3 is…” Sheng Xia murmured absently, "Mmph!"  

He cupped her face with both hands, tilted his head, and kissed her deeply.  

Caught off guard, Sheng Xia fell backward. Instead of catching her waist to pull her up, he chased her down, pinning her fully against the grass as he kissed her.  

A heavy imprint, then slowly releasing. When his tongue slipped in, it lightly brushed the corner of her mouth. Sheng Xia shivered, a soft moan unconsciously escaping her lips. "Nn…”

Zhang Shu’s body tensed in response. He pushed himself up, gazing dazedly at her.  

Sheng Xia drowned in his eyes, darker than the night itself.

Her black hair splayed on the ground, her eyes shimmering like clear spring water. Her porcelain skin, almost too pale, held a fragile beauty in the moonlight.  

"God, you’ll be the death of me..." Zhang Shu sighed admiringly before sealing his lips over hers again.  

They didn’t know how long they kissed.  

She knew he liked kissing; most of their time together was spent kissing.

But Sheng Xia had never imagined such a simple action could be so tirelessly engaging. 

The overgrown grass prickled the back of her head with fine, dense touches. In front of her, fine, dense kisses overwhelmed all of Sheng Xia’s senses.  

He suddenly seized her tongue, not letting go, sucking fiercely.  

Sheng Xia’s tongue went numb. 

Her whole body felt like it was being roasted by fire, tensed so tightly her toes curled involuntarily.  

Just as she was about to raised her hands to push him away, his lips left hers, trailing down. 

Chin, neck…  

Ouch!  

A sharp sting below her collarbone made her eyes snap open. She weakly brushed her fingers through his hair. "A-Shu…"  

Zhang Shu reluctantly pushed himself up, his breath ragged as he gazed at her—  

At her slightly swollen lip.  

At that speck of crimson beneath her collarbone.  

His eyes drifted upward, meeting her dazed eyes again. He couldn’t resist stealing another kiss.

“Mm, No. 3 is Soft and Squishy.”

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