Summer in Your Name - 47

Sheng Xia didn’t know how much time had passed; she’d lost all sense of it.  

"Zhang Shu... I don't..." she started, but she hadn’t figured out what to say next.  

The little person inside her heart was wrestling with itself, while the person before her remained visibly calmer.

“I wasn’t planning to say this now. At this stage, the best relationship isn’t dating—it’s moving forward together. Like Linked Hoops, even if we’re back-to-back, we keep pushing toward the finish line before turning to face each other. I believe you agree with me on that. So, I was afraid saying this would trouble you, but liking someone, as you’ve seen, isn’t something you can hide. Who can’t tell that I like you?”

He spoke without pause, as if these words had been waiting to spill out. 

“But not saying anything seems to trouble you even more.”  

“Don’t be scared. Don't panic.”

"I can't say something like 'my feelings for you have nothing to do with you.' I hope it won't make you feel pressured. But knowing your personality, I know it'll still weigh heavily. So, just think of me as someone who wants to be good to you. Like, uh… your dad?”  

Sheng Xia: “…”

Hmm, maybe he's not as calm as he appears.

Zhang Shu propped himself up on his elbow, all bravado, but he was actually nervous as hell, starting to trip over his words. He regretted his usual habit of running his mouth; it always screwed him at crucial moments.

He stopped, quickly backtracking, and just laid it all bare: “I'm sorry. How about ‘big brother’? Big brother, okay? I’ll be good to you, and you just have to accept it. Even if you don’t, I can’t help it, I can’t stop myself… When you’re ready to date, when you can date, I’ll be first in line to be your boyfriend, okay?”

He leaned closer, his voice soft, almost a whisper, “Just allow me to like you for now, okay?”

The turmoil in her chest seemed to stop, as if his words had hit a pause button on all the chaos inside her.  

At this moment, she felt just like when she'd watched his video long ago.

Numb. 

He wasn’t out of breath, but she’d lost control of her muscles and pulse.  

"Hm?" Receiving no response, he moved his face even closer, his tall nose almost brushing against hers.  

Sheng Xia panicked, jerking back, her head nearly hitting the wall. His hand shot out, grabbing her arm to steady her, preventing the collision. Then, a broad palm cradled the back of her head, pulling her toward him, just inches apart.

"Can I?"

He asked, his voice so low only they could hear it, sending a sudden shiver through her.

His hand on the back of her head was still stroking gently, coaxing, tempting…  

Thump, thump, thump!

Her heartbeat seemed to defy her, pounding against her every defense.

Staring at his handsome face, so close she couldn’t make out its contours, she didn’t dare move. Her breathing hitched, nearly suffocating her.

Just before she completely lost it, Zhang Shu let go, sitting back upright.

His eyes stayed locked on her.

Sheng Xia’s hand, resting on her knee, fumbled for her pulse, trying to find her voice again.  

"I...I don't know. I need… I need to think about it."

The words barely left her mouth before both of them froze.  

Sheng Xia suddenly realized—

What was she saying?!  

Wasn’t that basically agreeing?!  

It was all his fault for asking such cunning questions. What did he mean, ‘allow me to like you’? If she said no, would he just stop liking her? Was that something she could control?

How was she supposed to answer that?!

It was an impossible question!

No matter how she answered, as long as it wasn’t a rejection—didn't it imply she felt something too?

It was a blatant trap!

Aaaaaahhhhhh!

Zhang Shu laughed, then seemed to catch himself, touching the bridge of his nose and coughing lightly. But he couldn’t hide the joy bubbling up, suddenly leaning back on the sofa and letting out two loud laughs, his Adam’s apple bobbing, sharp with an air of triumphant. 

Ha, ha!  

The sound echoed through the entire lobby.

Sheng Xia: “…”  

“Sorry,” he said, still smiling, “just making sure this is real life, not a dream.”

Sheng Xia felt like she needed to do something to ease the tension, but her mind was blank.

It was Zhang Shu who regained his composure first, his gaze falling back to the neglected cake. "Wanna eat it? Although it's the same as yours. Maybe not even as good..."

Sheng Xia snapped out of her daze, noticing a hint of dejection in his tone—something she’d never heard from him. He was probably still upset about the cake, thinking the cake he bought wasn’t as good.

She finally found her voice. “Actually, it’s not the same.”

Zhang Shu: “Hm?”

“This brand’s cakes, I heard their delivery guys are all over 180 centimeters tall, and, uh, had good looks and charm. That’s part of their brand premium…”  

Zhang Shu looked confused: “?”  

“But mine was bought by my family, so I didn’t see the delivery guy. I lost out…” Sheng Xia hesitated, staring at the little red heart on the cake, murmuring, “But with yours… I saw it.”

She saw this delivery guy, whose looks and charm were beyond just good. 

Brand premium—she’d hit the jackpot.

"I didn't lose out," She lowered her head, her voice so soft it was almost inaudible.   

When Sheng Xia spoke, her ears buzzed; she wasn’t even sure what she’d said or if she’d made sense.

Zhang Shu froze for a few seconds, then nodded. “Oh, my bad then, I'm 185 centimeters tall."

Sheng Xia: … He totally didn’t get it.  

He was so nervous his usual quick wit had abandoned him. It took a moment for it to click—she was comforting him?

 

In such a roundabout way?

Was she saying that his cake was special because he was the delivery guy?

That’s what she meant, right? He hadn’t misread her cultured way of talking, had he? Zhang Shu pondered over her words again and again.

Staring at her flushed face, now lowered so far it was almost touching her chest, his heartbeat lost its rhythm. 

How could she be this adorable?  

He was on the verge of losing control. He really, really wanted to touch her, pinch her cheek, hold her hand, pull her into his arms, kiss—stop.  

Anything would do. He wasn’t picky.  

At this thought, some semblance of rationality returned to him, he asked. "“So, want to eat it?”

Sheng Xia nodded.

He was about to cut the cake when he remembered she hadn’t had her birthday song or made a wish. But this small cake didn’t come with candles. He suddenly stood up. “Wait for me here.”  

Then he strode out. Before Sheng Xia could react, he stopped, turned around, and came back, pulling out his phone from his pocket. He turned on the flashlight and shone it against the white wall, brightening the whole room.

“Don’t worry, this is a library. Ghosts don't read, so they won’t come in. I’ll be right back.” He said this while jogging backward out the door.   

Sheng Xia was stunned.

Was he worried she'd be afraid of being alone in the dark? 

Did she really come off that superstitious?  

Through the window, Sheng Xia saw him sprint up the spiral staircase of the teaching building.

Round and round, until his figure vanished on the fifth floor…

What is he doing?

Less than a minute later, she saw him spiraling back down, taking three or four steps at a time.  

Then he reappeared before her, panting. 

Wind on his back, light in his eyes.

"I don't smoke, I borrowed this from Han Xiao." He explained, holding up a silver lighter in his hand 

Sheng Xia looked at him, puzzled.

Instead of sitting back down, Zhang Shu crouched by the table, right in front of her, one knee up, one knee down, almost like he was kneeling to her.    

Though he wasn't actually kneeling, Sheng Xia felt her ears grow warm.

He turned off the phone’s light, held the cake in one hand, and flicked the lighter with the other.

Click. The flame sprang to life.

Using the lighter as a candle, he sang in the flickering glow: “Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to my baby, Happy birthday to you…”

His voice was nothing like when he sang rock in that video, it was magnetic, low, impossibly gentle, laced with the uneven breaths from his sprint… each note struck Sheng Xia’s heart.

Especially that ‘to my baby’—it sent a jolt down her spine, her ears burning like they were on fire.  

Who?! Who is his 'baby'? Aahhh!

Shock, joy, nerves, and shyness swirled together, overwhelming her, nearly drowning her.  

She recalled what Hou Junqi used to say: Who could resist this?

“Make a wish,” he said as the song ended, raising his eyes, brows lifting, looking at her with expectation.  

Sheng Xia stared at him for two seconds, pressed her lips together, clasped her hands under her chin, and closed her eyes reverently.

She sensed the light flicker out, but he quickly reignited the lighter.  

When she slowly opened her eyes, the flame still glowed brightly.

“Done wishing?” he asked.

"Done."

Zhang Shu: "Blow out the candle."

Sheng Xia hesitated, but he tilted his chin toward the lighter.  

She leaned in and blew softly.

He released the lighter at the same time, the flame vanishing into it.  

 

Then he tossed the lighter onto the table, shaking his hand. “Damn, Han Xiao, that little punk—what a crappy lighter, burned the hell out of me.”

Sheng Xia: “…”  

His curse shattered the subtle, lingering tenderness and awkwardness in the air.

He didn’t stand up, and she didn’t move either.  

She was still in the same position as when she blew the ‘candle’, leaning close to him.

They locked eyes for a long moment in the dim yellow light.  

Finally, as his gaze shifted from intense to playful, Sheng Xia came back to her senses, sitting up straight. "Earlier, Teacher Wang said… five minutes… I’ll eat the cake later…”

“Dummy, five minutes passed ages ago. Can we stay a bit longer? Let me look at you a bit more.”

Still crouching, he gazed up at her, his soft, tousled bangs framing eyes so focused and indulgent, pulling her in.

Look? Look at what?! What kind of words was that?!

How could he say something like that so casually?!

Her ears burned, the heat spreading like wildfire.

Could he not talk like that?!

So smooth! So flirty!  

"No! How can this be possible!”  

She huffed, unaware of the coquetishness slipping into her tone.  

Zhang Shu felt his heart melt. Unable to hold back, he casually reached out to squeeze her hand resting on her knee. “Alright, let’s go back.”  

His fingers tightened briefly, warm and slightly damp, then let go. Sheng Xia froze, that spot tingling like it no longer belonged to her.

How could he… just touch her hand!  

She quickly stood, marching off, but it still felt wrong. Walking ahead, she suddenly turned back. “Zhang Shu.”

“Hmm?” He followed easily.

"Don't do that again," she demanded.

Zhang Shu looked at her puffed-up, indignant face. “Do what?”  

 

"We're just classmates. You can’t… you can’t…” Too embarrassed to spell it out, she was so flustered she looked on the verge of tears.

"Alright, alright," Zhang Shu hurriedly soothed her. "I won't do it again. Don't be angry..."

Sheng Xia spun around, fleeing in a huff. 

Zhang Shu smiled helplessly. He rubbed his fingertips, the ones that had touched her hand, as if trying to erase that sensation from his memory, afraid he might get addicted. But it was useless—her soft touch was seared into him, making his heart mush just thinking about it.  

How could her hand be that soft? Did she have no bones?

Don't do that? What exactly was ‘that’? If even this was off-limits, is she trying to suffocate him to death? 

He packed the cake back into its box, caught up to her in a few strides, keeping a steady three-meter distance behind.  

As they neared the teaching building, she heard someone calling her name.

"Sheng Xia."

She glanced back slightly.  

Zhang Shu didn’t come closer, staying a few steps behind her. “I think I should tell you something.”  

She stood still, silent, waiting.

“Just now, I realized I like you even more than I thought.”  

I like you even more than I thought. 

She’d lost count of how many times he’d said “I like you” today.    

Sheng Xia wanted to beg for mercy, could he please slow down? She feared her last bit of strength wouldn't hold out until she made it back to class.

His voice came from behind again, solemn this time.

“In my whole life so far, I’ve never liked anyone. Except for my sister, I’ve never been good to anyone. If I overstep, please remind me or forgive me.” 

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