Summer in Your Name - 25

Sheng Xia swallowed hard, meeting his slightly surprised gaze. After hesitating for a moment, she said, “I, I want to take back my essay.”

Zhang Shu let out a chuckle, looking at her fair face tinged with a flush of red, suddenly feeling an urge to pinch her cheeks.

Classmates around them: …Tch, thought it was something big.

Zhang Shu flipped through his stack, pulled out her essay paper, then handed it over. “What’s there to feel sorry about for taking back your own essay?”

Sheng Xia avoided his questioning eyes. She didn’t want to act like this either, but she genuinely wanted to apologize for her recklessness and pettiness.

This was the only way she could comfort herself. She had said it, and he had heard it.

“Teacher Wang said we should help each other. If you still need it, I can give it back to you after I’m done organizing it,” she said softly, taking the paper.

“Teacher Wang?” Zhang Shu rolled the name over in his mouth, laughing again. “Almost didn’t register who that was.”

In the entire Class 6, no one privately called Wang Wei by his proper title.

Sheng Xia didn’t respond, starting to organize her essay booklet.

Could he not laugh like that? Each laugh, laced with a carefree edge, came out as a soft snort through his nose, his throat humming briefly, brushing lightly against the listener’s heart, sending it trembling.

After evening study, Sheng Xia bought a copy of Zhang Shu’s mistake notebook from the stationery shop at the north gate for fifteen yuan. Wang Wei mentioned almost every second-year student had one. By that logic, the shop owner was underpaying Zhang Shu with those few hundred yuan.

Back home, Wang Lianhua was waiting in the living room as usual, with a bowl of steamed egg custard prepared for her as a late-night snack.

“Mom, our monthly exam results are out,” Sheng Xia said, holding the bowl.

Wang Lianhua nodded. “I saw them on the school app.”

Sheng Xia couldn’t read any expression on her mother’s face and only mumbled, “Mm.”

After finishing her snack, Sheng Xia said, “I’m going to study.”

“Xiaxia,” Wang Lianhua called out to her.

Sheng Xia sat back down, waiting for her mother’s words.

Wang Lianhua sighed. “I can’t help much with high school studies. Do you think… you need to join an after-school tutoring program?”

In the past, Wang Lianhua wouldn’t have asked her opinion—she would’ve just decided directly. Perhaps she’d seen Sheng Xia’s recent efforts and knew it wasn’t a matter of attitude. Her ability was what it was, and no amount of nagging would change that.

Sheng Xia felt a sting from her mother’s helpless gaze and sniffled. “Mom, I feel like there already aren't enough hours in the day right now. If I take tutoring, won’t it…”

“Then what’s your plan? What measures will you take?” Wang Lianhua asked. “If you don’t seize this chance now, you’ll fall even further behind next semester.”

Sheng Xia’s throat tightened. “I have the mistake notebook from the top student. I’ll study from that.”

“Will that work?” Wang Lianhua’s tone was urgent.

“I don’t know,” Sheng Xia admitted, feeling powerless. She couldn’t guarantee the unknown.

Wang Lianhua looked worried but didn’t press further. Finally, she decided, “Let’s see how the next exam goes. If it doesn’t work, we’ll arrange tutoring sooner. Time’s running out.”

“Mm.”

“Good girl.”

“I’m going to study, Mom.”

“Go ahead. Don’t stay up too late.”

“Mm.”

That night, Sheng Xia stayed up past two, studying Zhang Shu’s mistake notebook again and again.

---

After the monthly exam came the National Day and Mid-Autumn Festival holiday. Affiliated High School kept its usual arrangement: organized ‘voluntary’ self-study sessions, come if you want.

Sheng Xia, naturally, showed up every day. Sheng Mingfeng offered to take her out for a meal, but she declined.

Wang Lianhua had said her time was running out.

The red numbers on the countdown board echoed the same reminder.

During the holiday, the Afternoon Care handed out mooncakes as a special treat. There weren't many people eating in the store, everyone thanked the boss lady together, the atmosphere was warm like a family reunion.

Sheng Xia sat between Zhang Shu and Hou Junqi, eating quietly.

She’d gotten used to this setup and no longer rushed through her meals like before. Hou Junqi knew she didn’t talk much while eating and rarely tried to pull her into conversation anymore.

Most of the time, she just listened to their chatter.

“Shu, wanna go to the snack shop later?” Hou Junqi asked.

Zhang Shu: "No.”

Hou Junqi: “I want a soda. These mooncakes are too dry.”

Zhang Shu: "Oh, can’t you just drink soup?”

“No way, A-Shu, were you serious about quitting sodas and snacks? I don’t buy it, with your candy obsession…”

“Serious,” Zhang Shu answered flatly.

Hou Junqi thought it was unnecessary. “That’s not saving you much money.”

Zhang Shu: “Every bit counts.”

Hou Junqi glanced at Zhang Sujin, saw she wasn’t nearby, and leaned closer to Zhang Shu, whispering, “You really buying that necklace? Damn, it’s crazy expensive!”

Zhang Shu shot him a look, didn’t answer, and focused on his food.

Hou Junqi glanced at Sheng Xia, suddenly realizing someone else was there. He made a zipping motion over his mouth and shut up.

Sheng Xia felt slightly uncomfortable.

Why couldn’t they just pretend she wasn’t here? Whispering halfway and then acting like they had to guard against her—was that really necessary?

But then she remembered Zhang Shu always had a lollipop in his mouth during evening self-study, he really did seem to love candy. And sodas, there was always a can on his desk, basically one a day. He barely drank water.

Lately, though, he’d been sticking to water.

Saving up to buy a necklace for a girl he liked by cutting out snacks and drinks? That must not be easy.

Thinking of her earlier misunderstanding, Sheng Xia came up with a way to make up for it.

---

For the next few days, Zhang Shu’s desk drawer kept getting stocked with lollipops and sodas.

The lollipops were the fancy Fujiya brand he usually couldn’t afford, and the sodas were all the kinds he liked. One bag of lollipops and one can of soda every day.

At first, Zhang Shu thought Hou Junqi was behind it and didn’t think much of it. But after a while, something felt off. He asked Hou Junqi, “You pitying me?”

Hou Junqi was confused. “Huh?”

Zhang Shu pulled out a lollipop and a soda from his drawer. “Today's rations?”

Hou Junqi was even more confused. “What’re you talking about?”

If Hou Junqi was lying, Zhang Shu would’ve seen through him in a second. So it really wasn’t him?

“No clue who’s leaving these. Been eating them for days,” Zhang Shu said.

Hou Junqi’s eyes lit up. “Damn, a secret admirer, bro!”

Zhang Shu thought about it and nodded. It was the only explanation. “Annoying.”

Sheng Xia didn’t hear this conversation, she was off getting water. When she came back, Xin Xiaohe grabbed her arm, acting all secretive. “Hey, Zhang Shu’s got another admirer.”

Sheng Xia wasn’t too interested but humored her. “Really?”

“Yeah! And she’s kinda silly, buying him snacks every day, but Zhang Shu doesn’t even know who she is. He almost thought it was from Hou Junqi, hahaha!”

Sheng Xia: …

Uh, this…

She’d been stashing the snacks in her bag and sneaking them into his drawer while everyone was at lunch. It wasn’t easy for her either, okay?

And now she was being called silly.

But maybe this was fine. Wouldn’t it make him feel better? Being liked is a happy thing, right? And it’s like her apology was accepted.

For the next couple of days, Sheng Xia noticed Zhang Shu wasn’t eating what she left. The stuff piled up on the windowsill, and she had no idea what he was planning to do with it.

Was he tired of it?

She didn’t know what else he liked, she hadn’t paid close attention before. Maybe she’d try giving him stuff she liked?

She wouldn’t keep this up forever, just until the end of the month. That’d be a few hundred yuan, enough to cover his emotional damages, right?

---

The summer in Nanli was hot and endless. Even in October, there wasn’t a hint of cool breeze, still like midsummer. 

The Affiliated High School’s sports festival was coming up, held every late October or early November for three days. Third-year students didn’t compete in traditional events but had to join the opening ceremony and the half-day fun sports event at the end.

“The fun sports event is awesome, tied-leg races, tire crawls, you’ll see!” Xin Xiaohe said excitedly.

Sheng Xia had never heard of such a format.

So, Affiliated High wasn’t just about studying, they knew how to have fun too.

“Hey, Xiaxia,” Xin Xiaohe said mysteriously, “I heard the teachers want you to be our class’s signboard goddess.”

Signboard goddess. Sheng Xia hadn’t heard the term before, but she guessed it meant holding up the class sign during the opening ceremony.

“Huh?” She was surprised. Was it really okay for a transfer student like her to do it?

“Zhou Xuanxuan said so,” Xin Xiaohe whispered. “Last year, she did it since she’s the arts committee member. We didn’t have any standout picks, so they just went with her. But yesterday in the dorm, we asked her what dress she’d wear this year, and she got all upset, saying it’s not her this time. Teacher Wang’s got you in mind.”

So that’s how it was.

Sheng Xia had done it back at No. 2 High School, but it felt different somehow. “You have to wear a dress?”

“Of course! How else do you become a goddess? It’s not just personal beauty, it’s the class’s honor! You didn’t see Class 4 last year, they were practically floating.” Xin Xiaohe was buzzing with excitement. “Our class is gonna steal the show this year!”

Class 4, Chen Mengyao’s class.

Having spent time with Xin Xiaohe for a while, Sheng Xia could pick up on her cues.

For one, she probably didn’t like her dormmate Zhou Xuanxuan.

For another, she was really looking forward to Sheng Xia holding the sign.

So Sheng Xia swallowed her “Can I not do it?” question.

It was just a rumor anyway—no teacher had asked her yet.

Before the sports festival, each class had to design and make class T-shirts. They’d pick a color, design a pattern, and get them custom-made online. Sheng Xia hadn’t expected that Class 6’s T-shirt would be designed by Zhang Shu.

“Last year, he designed it too. He’s really good at drawing,” Xin Xiaohe said.

Sheng Xia sighed, wondering if the heavens had forgotten to close any windows for this guy.

---

After lunch, Zhang Shu planned to head back to the classroom to draw.

Hou Junqi said, “No nap?”

“What nap? Teacher Wang’s been nagging nonstop. Annoying.”

As they entered the north gate, they saw Sheng Xia riding her scooter out of school.

Hou Junqi: “No wonder we haven’t seen Little Sheng Xia at lunch lately. She’s studying in the classroom till this late? She’s working hard, but her last exam wasn’t great, huh?”

Zhang Shu laughed. “You’ve got time to worry about others? Don’t you know your own rank from the bottom?”

Hou Junqi waved it off. “Tch, I’m just like this. You know I’m going abroad anyway. English alone is killing me. I’m not dead last only because I don’t want to embarrass you.”

Zhang Shu: “Whether you study or not has nothing to do with me. Just don't bring shame to China once you're out there."

“Wow, such love for the country and global perspective,” Hou Junqi teased.

In the classroom, Hou Junqi sat at Sheng Xia’s desk, playing a game while waiting for Zhang Shu to draw. Suddenly, he spoke casually, “Hey, Shu, I heard our class’s signboard goddess this year is Little Sheng Xia. She’s holding the sign, you’re designing the shirt—you two make a perfect team, huh?”

Zhang Shu kicked his chair. “Don’t spout nonsense in front of others. You know how shy she is.”

Hou Junqi got serious. “No way, I won’t, promise.” Then, as if realizing something, he stood up mid-game. “Shu, you don’t like Sheng Xia, do you?”

He’d teased about Chen Mengyao before, and Zhang Shu never reacted like this. Thinking about it, Zhang Shu seemed carefree but was sharp as a tack. Chen Mengyao loved the attention from rumors with him, so he just let it slide.

As Hou Junqi stood, his hip bumped Sheng Xia’s desk, knocking a few notebooks out of the drawer.

Hou Junqi bent to pick them up, but Zhang Shu yanked his arm, pulling him aside. He stared at the notebook on the floor, paused, then slowly picked it up.

Flipping through the familiar photocopied notebook, images flashed through Zhang Shu’s mind:

Hou Junqi mentioning his snack-quitting at lunch;

Sheng Xia skipping lunch lately, staying late in the classroom;

The snacks and sodas appearing in his drawer every afternoon;

Her startled, aggrieved face that night after talking to Old Wang;

Old Wang pulling him aside to ask how he made his mistake notebook;

And then her abrupt “I’m sorry” when he returned…

It all clicked. So she’d found out from Old Wang that he wasn’t selling that kind of stuff? Even bought a copy to check for herself. Ha, how thorough. Feeling guilty? Remorseful?

He suddenly laughed.

He glanced at the sodas and snacks on the windowsill, which he’d left untouched, thinking they were from some other class’s admirer, a signal he wasn’t interested.

Turned out it was from this Buddha.

Alright, this sneaky style was very her.

Hou Junqi was lost. “What’s up, A-Shu?”

Zhang Shu put Sheng Xia’s notebook back, returned to his seat, and checked his drawer. Sure enough, more snacks and drinks.

This time, no lollipops or sodas.

A whole strip of White Rabbit candy and a row of Wangzai milk.

Hou Junqi burst out laughing. “Haha, this girl’s trying to sweeten you to death?”

Zhang Shu laughed too, tore open a pack of White Rabbit candy, popped one in his mouth. “Not a bad way to go.”

Sweet death it is.

---

When they switched seats again on Monday, after one full rotation, Zhang Shu moved to the first row. Sheng Xia watched him carefully pack the snacks and sodas from the windowsill into his drawer, moving them with his desk.

She’d thought he was going to leave them there.

She had moved to the window seat, staring at the snacks she’d sent all day would’ve been painfully awkward.

Then she saw him eating the rabbit candy and Wangzai milk.

Guess he really was tired of lollipops. He seemed to like what she liked.

Good. Not a waste, then.

All day, everyone was buzzing about the signboard goddess thing. Sheng Xia overheard, thinking about how to politely decline if Wang Wei asked her.

But at the afternoon class meeting, Wang Wei announced, “We all know the sports festival is coming. The most important thing is participation. Hou Junqi, organize the fun sports events and assign people in advance. Also, this year’s signboard goddess for our class is Sheng Xia. Any objections?”

“None!”

"Good!"

"Very good!"

“Hands and feet in support!”

Cheers and applause drowned each other out.

Sheng Xia: …?

What? Did no one ever refuse? What about asking the person involved?

It wasn’t that Sheng Xia was being dramatic. She’d done it before and could handle the pressure of being watched. The real issue was that holding the sign looked simple but required practicing with the formation, and holding it up for so long would've left her arms sore for days.

Plus, the second monthly exam was right after the sports festival.

This slow bird didn’t want to waste energy on anything but studying.

She was busy enough.

But with this momentum, she had no room to refuse.

She could only accept.

“Sheng Xia,” Wang Wei called from the podium, instructing, “Find time to look at dresses. If you don’t know where to start, ask Teacher Fu. Budget is five hundred, come to me for reimbursement.”

“Five hundred’s too stingy!”

“Yeah, other classes’ dresses are super pretty, obviously expensive!”

Some troublemakers shouted.

Wang Wei flung a chalk stub. “The whole school gets five hundred. Anything over, you pay yourself. Am I the stingy one? Don’t talk nonsense!”

Everyone laughed. True, every girl wanted to shine. In past years, plenty had paid out of pocket to stand out.

Sheng Xia nodded under everyone’s gaze.

It was just two days of practice, just treat it as a break. Skipping it wouldn’t magically boost her grades. If it affected her, then she simply wasn't strong enough. What’s meant to come will come. Sheng Xia told herself not to worry about future's trouble.

---

Before evening study, a few girls crowded around Sheng Xia’s desk, chattering.

“Five hundred won’t get you anything. Can’t even rent a good one.”

“Yeah, authentic dresses are so expensive now!”

“How much was Zhou Xuanxuan’s dress last year?”

“She paid a thousand out of pocket to rent it.”

“I think a tulle mini dress would suit Xiaxia.”

“A qipao would be amazing too, hardly anyone wears those.”

“Crush Chen Mengyao! Go for it!”

“Shh, Zhou Xuanxuan’s been sulky for days.”

“Pfft, who cares? Last year, I wanted a photo with her, and she acted all reluctant. Finally got one, but she only posted one with Chen Mengyao, like she was so honored or something. Always acting superior because she hangs out with Chen Mengyao. So annoying.”

“You’re not scared she’ll hear?”

“Why should I be? Anyway, Chen Mengyao’s nothing special this year. Let Sheng Xia blind her.”

“Speaking of which, who crowned Chen Mengyao as the school beauty?”

“No idea, everyone just says it.”

“She’s an art student, always in the spotlight, so she stands out.”

"Besides, her gossip with Zhang Shu and Lu Youze probably helps her popularity too, right?”

“Who knows.”

Sheng Xia felt suffocated, caught in a gossip whirlwind.

Speaking felt wrong, staying silent felt wrong, and listening to them praise her by stepping on others just felt uncomfortable.

The class bell saved her. The crowd dispersed, and Sheng Xia looked exhausted. She still didn’t know how to bring this up with Wang Lianhua, her mom would definitely say it was a waste of study time.

So stressful.

She was about to dive into studying when Lu Youze, sitting diagonally behind, called out, “Sheng Xia.”

She turned. “Yeah?”

Lu Youze asked, “Do you live in Feicui Court?”

Sheng Xia nodded. “Mm.”

“I think I saw you at noon,” Lu Youze said. “You ride a white electric scooter?”

Sheng Xia nodded again. “Yes.”

“That was you, then. Didn’t know we were neighbors. You live in Area B?”

Sheng Xia confirmed, “Yeah, what a coincidence.”

Lu Youze smiled. “I’m in Area A. I saw you passing the Area B entrance. Have you lived there since middle school?”

“Mm.”

“Me too. Crazy we never ran into each other.”

It wasn’t surprising. Feicui Court was in the No. 8 Middle School district, so them being neighbors made sense. Area B had townhouses, Area A had villas, and though they were separated by just a wall, the entrances and garages were on different streets. Not meeting for years was normal.

“Yeah it is,” Sheng Xia said.

Lu Youze nodded. “You live so close, why do you still go to the Afternoon Care?”

“There's no one who cooks at home,” Sheng Xia explained.

“I see.”

The small talk ended there.

The next day, the conversation picked up again. Lu Youze asked, “Sheng Xia, is your dad Sheng Mingfeng?”

Sheng Xia froze, not answering right away.

Lu Youze looked a bit embarrassed. “It just felt like too much of a coincidence. I mentioned you at home last night, and my dad actually knows you. Your name’s pretty unique. He said he and your dad go way back, even gave you guys a discount when you bought your house.”

“Oh, really?” Sheng Xia wasn’t great at these kinds of talks. She never meddled in family matters and wasn’t clear on the details.

So, Lu Youze’s dad was the developer of Feicui Court?

Since their family got a discount, should she say thank you?

The topic felt awkward, so Sheng Xia opted for silence.

“You live so close, why only stay for two evening study sessions and head home?” Lu Youze asked.

Sheng Xia answered honestly, “I’m scared of the dark.” There were streetlights, sure, but the quiet streets with few people or cars spooked her.

“I stay until the third session,” Lu Youze said. “If you’re scared, we can go home together.”

“Really?” Sheng Xia lit up. She’d always wanted to stay for the full evening study.

Lu Youze nodded. “It’s boring going back alone anyway. I ride a bike, though, not as fast as your electric scooter.”

“I don’t ride fast either,” Sheng Xia said.

“Cool, then we’ll head back together from now on.”

“Great!” Sheng Xia agreed. “I’ll let my mom know tonight.”

Maybe this would make bringing up the signboard goddess thing easier?

---

That night, Sheng Xia got home to find Wang Lianhua on the phone with Wu Qiuxuan’s homeroom teacher. Not wanting to interrupt, she held off.

The delay dragged on to the weekend.

On Sunday, Sheng Xia came home for lunch and saw Wu Qiuxuan there too. The mood at the table was tense, but she didn’t ask questions. After hesitating, she brought up staying for all three evening study sessions to Wang Lianhua.

Wang Lianhua approved but had concerns, probing gently, “The boy you’re going back with, he’s just a classmate?”

“Yeah.”

“Really?”

Sheng Xia looked up. “Yeah, his name’s Lu Youze. Not sure if you remember, Mom, he was in my middle school class.”

Wang Lianhua let out an “Oh.” “I remember. He always spoke at parent meetings, had good grades, very polite. His dad’s a director at Junlan Group, knows your dad a bit.”

Sheng Xia nodded. “That’s him.”

Sheng Xia knew that Wang Lianhua had a soft spot for high-achieving students. 

“They do live next door,” Wang Lianhua cautioned. “But don’t get too close. It’s senior year, studies come first.”

“I know, Mom.”

“You’re the one I worry about least. When you say you understand, I know you do,” Wang Lianhua sighed. “Unlike some people, driving me up the wall.”

Wu Qiuxuan slammed her bowl down. “If you’re gonna scold me, just scold! No need to beat around the bush!”

“You’ve got some nerve, huh? Look at you, can't you act like a proper girl? Getting into fights at your age? And what’s with that hair, those blue contacts? You think you’re American? And those earrings, how many holes did you get?” Wang Lianhua’s anger, already simmering, exploded.

Because of Sheng Mingfeng’s status, they couldn’t have more than one child officially. Wu Qiuxuan and Zheng Dongning weren’t on the Sheng family registry. Wu Qiuxuan’s household registration was under a friend of Sheng Mingfeng’s, surnamed Wu, in Dongzhou City. Legally, she was that person’s child, so she had to attend ninth grade in Dongzhou and take the entrance exam there.

Before school started, the girl was thrilled, thinking life away from nagging would be great. But after a week, she started throwing tantrums, clashing with dormmates, getting into fights, dyeing her hair, and piercing her ears. Wang Lianhua was called in on Friday and brought her back, but had to send her back to Dongzhou this afternoon.

Wu Qiuxuan shot up from her seat. “I don’t want to study in Dongzhou! We’re all Dad’s kids, why do I have to go there while my sister gets to go to Nanli Affiliated High School? Don’t think I don’t know, her grades aren’t that great either! She only got into No. 2 High School, and Dad pulled strings to get her into Affiliated High School! Why’s it different for me? Why?”

“Stop talking nonsense,” Wang Lianhua snapped, tapping her bowl. “Your sister failed the entrance exam and went to No. 2 High School. She got into Affiliated High School because her grades improved. You’d better swallow those words, spreading them could cause trouble!”

Wu Qiuxuan scoffed. “Sure, only Sheng Xia is a Sheng. Dongning and I are nothing!”

She stormed off, slamming her bedroom door so hard it shook.

Sheng Xia couldn’t swallow her bite of rice, it tasted like wax.

Wang Lianhua shouted toward the room, “Go ahead, slam and smash! Maybe if you collapse the house, your dad will bother to show up!”

“I don’t need him! What’s the point of a dad like that? Why didn’t he just strangle me at birth?” Wu Qiuxuan’s voice cracked from her room, thick with tears.

Wang Lianhua didn’t respond, just shoveled rice into her mouth. She didn’t touch the dishes, swallowing clumps of plain rice.

Sheng Xia saw tears trace the wrinkles by her mother’s eyes, disappearing into the white rice, swallowed down together.

Zheng Dongning, terrified, clutched her bowl, looking at Sheng Xia with wide eyes.

Sheng Xia’s throat felt blocked by an invisible wall of pressure. She forced herself to swallow, rubbed Zheng Dongning’s head, and said, “Dongning, be good. Finish your food.”

“Sister,” Zheng Dongning suddenly said.

Sheng Xia’s suppressed emotions nearly broke at that moment. Zheng Dongning had autism, and Sheng Xia hadn’t heard her say ‘sister’ in ages. The scene must have scared her.

Sheng Xia stroked her little sister’s cheek. “What’s wrong?”

Zheng Dongning just blinked at her.

After lunch, Wang Lianhua sat on the couch, staring at a boring shopping channel on TV, clearly not watching.

Zheng Dongning sat by the coffee table, drawing what looked like dolphins.

The room was quiet, seemingly calm and harmonious. But beneath it, everything was tangled and chaotic.

Sheng Xia washed the dishes and knocked on Wu Qiuxuan’s door. No response. She tried the handle, it was loose, unlocked.

Wu Qiuxuan was like that, always waiting for someone to come coax her.

Sheng Xia pushed the door open and closed it softly. Sure enough, the lump under the blanket shifted.

The AC wasn’t on. Sheng Xia found the remote by the bed, turned on the cool air, and sat on the edge. She gently tugged the blanket’s corner, but it was held tight from inside.

Sheng Xia said softly, “A-Xuan, it’s me.”

No movement.

“Not hot under there?”

The blanket loosened a bit. Sheng Xia pulled it back, revealing a pair of red, teary eyes.

“Sis, I’m sorry…” Wu Qiuxuan’s voice broke into sobs.

Sheng Xia’s throat tightened, words stuck. She shook her head, took a moment, then found her voice. “A-Xuan, Mom doesn’t have a choice either. She’s also hurting.”

In this family, no one hurt more than Wang Lianhua.

Married far from home, married down, dealing with a mother-in-law who favored boys over girls, risking her husband’s political status to have three children, only to end up with no sons. Her husband rose high, her own family fell apart, and she lost any leverage to fight.

A husband’s family she couldn’t fit into, a natal family she couldn’t return to, a crumbling marriage, three young daughters…

Once a radiant woman, now even crying was a luxury. How hard her days were, perhaps only she could truly know. Even Sheng Xia could never fully understand her pain.

One of the main reasons Wang Lianhua couldn't control Wu Qiuxuan was because the girl's temper was exactly the same as hers when she was young—headstrong, bold, unyielding. When she scolds Wu Qiuxuan, she would see glimpses of her past self in her, a mix of blame and reminiscing.

Wu Qiuxuan nodded through her tears. “I know, I know, but I can’t help it. I’m sorry, Sis, I didn’t mean it…”

“How about you take a nap, then apologize to Mom when you wake up?” Sheng Xia noticed her hesitation and changed the subject. “Your earrings are really pretty.”

Wu Qiuxuan touched her earlobe, still sniffling. “Really?”

“Really,” Sheng Xia said, grabbing her sister’s hand. “A-Xuan, you know, I’m often jealous of you. You have your own ideas, your own plans. You belong to yourself. You have your own style, and you’ll have your own life one day. Because you’re not a Sheng…”

“Sis, I don’t get it…”

“You will,” Sheng Xia said with a forced smile. “I hear Dongzhou’s super vibrant, really trendy. You’d fit right in. If you go to high school there, maybe college, even work there, it’d be great, right? It’s not far, you can come back on weekends.”

“But I don’t know anyone there…”

“You’ll meet new people,” Sheng Xia said. “Getting to know all kinds of people is a kind of luck. You’re only 14, and you’ve already seen more than one city’s scenery, experienced more than one place’s atmosphere. That’s pretty cool, isn’t it?”

“I guess so.”

“Why’d you get in a fight? Were they bullying you?”

“No, there was this girl who was super arrogant. She’s a fan of my idol’s rival and cursed my idol to flop.”

“That’s infuriating!” Sheng Xia joined in. “You should’ve cursed her idol for tax evasion, sleeping with fans, and getting arrested!”

“Whoa, that’s way worse.”

“Exactly! No need to fight, just make her mad.”

“Make her mad!”

The sisters lay on the bed, chatting until they drifted off.

---

Sheng Xia’s internal clock was sharp. She woke right after naptime and slipped out of the room quietly. Wang Lianhua wasn’t in the living room, probably taking Dongning to the psychologist.

Sheng Xia went to her room to work on practice tests but couldn’t focus. After some thought, she packed her bag and headed to school.

Before leaving, she called Wang Lianhua, telling her A-Xuan was okay and could be sent back to Dongzhou that evening.

Wang Lianhua sighed. “Good girl. It must've been hard for you.”

“What’re you saying, Mom?”

“What about dinner?” Wang Lianhua asked. “It’ll take me three or four hours to get to Dongzhou and back. I won’t make it back in time.”

The Afternoon Care didn’t cover Sunday dinners.

“It’s fine. There are tons of restaurants near school.”

“Pick a clean one.”

“Got it.”

---

At three in the afternoon, the sun blazed, scorching her back. Sheng Xia rode her scooter, not heading straight to school but aimlessly circling the area.

The hot wind stung her face, scattering her thoughts, drying her tears.

But the tears kept coming, blurring her vision. She hit the brakes under a tree’s shade and collapsed over the handlebars, sobbing out loud.

The kingdom of tears was a mysterious thing.

Just a drop of water, yet it held emotions that could swallow a person whole in an instant.

So she always hid her tears, saving them for when no one was around.

Because she couldn’t let everyone drown at once.

So she always cried alone.

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