Lemon Soda Candy - 7
What About Him?
Zhou Anran's heart raced.
Maybe realizing she'd lifted her head, that beautiful hand tapped her desk once more. Then his voice, clear and casual, sounded.
"English teacher wants to see you."
That familiar voice was right above her head.
This time, he wasn't talking to Zhu Ran or Zong Kai or whoever else whose conversation she might accidentally or not so accidentally overhear.
He was talking to her.
The realization made her heart race even faster, traitor that it was.
It wasn't the first time he'd spoken to her.
There had been two times before.
Once, on the first day of school. He'd steadied her and said, "Careful."
Another time, during a long break, on the way downstairs for morning exercises. The crowd had pushed them uncomfortably close. He and Zhu Ran were walking just behind her, discussing some game. Someone behind them was messing around, and he'd been jostled into her shoulder. He'd glanced at her or maybe he hadn't, and muttered a lazy, "Sorry."
So it made perfect sense that he didn't remember her name.
He was the moon surrounded by stars, the golden boy.
And she was the coward who didn't even dare get close.
They were just ordinary classmates, little more than strangers.
Zhou Anran didn't look up. She hesitated, torn between a simple "Okay" and a bolder "Do you know what she wants me for?".
But he hadn't waited for an answer. He'd just come to deliver the message. The hand disappeared from her desk and he was gone.
That clean, cool scent faded.
Something hollow opened in her chest.
Defeated, she slumped back onto the desk, frustrated at herself for being so pathetic in front of him again.
But afraid he might think she'd ignored his message, she quickly gathered herself, stood up, hesitated for a moment, then finally went out the front door.
Halfway there, a thought struck her.
He came to get her for the teacher. That means, even if he couldn't remember her name, he at least knew who she was?
The tightness in her chest loosened just a little.
But by the time she reached the English teachers' office, another possibility occurred to her.
The possibility that he'd mistaken her for someone else.
The office door, just a few inches away, suddenly felt like an abyss. She had no idea if the step she was about to take would land her in heaven or hell.
An English teacher from another class was walking in her direction, glancing curiously at the girl hovering by the office door.
She couldn't hesitate any longer and took a big step forward.
The office door was wide open.
Lin Han, Class 2's English teacher, a young woman in her early thirties, sat at a desk directly facing the entrance.
The moment Zhou Anran raised her hand to knock, Lin Han looked up and saw her.
Zhou Anran held her breath, terrified the teacher would ask, What are you doing here?
But Lin Han broke into a smile and waved her in. "Come in, come in."
Zhou Anran exhaled a silent sigh of immense relief. She stepped inside, her fingers curling against the seam of her uniform pants.
She'd never been very good at dealing with teachers.
As she approached, Lin Han studied her for a moment. "Sheng Xiaowen told me she already gave you the news. What's wrong? Not happy about getting first in the grade?"
Huh?
Was her unhappiness still that obvious?
Zhou Anran shook her head, using the same excuse as before. "No, it's not that. I just didn't sleep very well last night."
Lin Han nodded. "You still need to rest. The gaokao is a marathon, not a sprint.”
Zhou Anran murmured a soft "Mm" in agreement.
"You did exceptionally well this time." Lin Han was smiling at her. "We deliberately hid a few trick questions in the reading comprehension section. Even Chen Luobai was careless and got one wrong. You were the only one in the entire grade to get a perfect score." Her smile widened. "You just won me half a month of breakfast, you know."
Zhou Anran had always liked this English teacher. She explained things clearly and simply, and she was warm and humorous.
She smiled back. "It's because you're a good teacher."
Lin Han laughed out loud. "Now that's something I like hearing."
She even turned to the other teachers in the office, showing off. "Did you hear that? My student says I'm a good teacher!"
The office atmosphere ignited instantly, the room filling with good-natured teasing.
Zhou Anran pressed her lips together, hiding a small smile.
She envied the teacher's easygoing personality.
Lin Han turned back and gave her a few more pointers on her studies before finally dismissed her back to class.
When Zhou Anran stepped out of the office, the sky had gone completely dark.
Winter had crept up on them without warning.
This semester was almost over.
On her way back, she couldn't help but take the back door. Her eyes drifted, habitually, toward his seat.
He was saying something to Zhu Ran. Whatever it was, Zhu Ran had jumped up from his chair, looking like he was about to explode with indignation.
Chen Luobai was slumped on his desk, shoulders shaking with silent laughter, the pale skin at the nape of his neck exposed.
As she neared her seat, she heard Dong Chen trying to console Yan Xingxi.
"So what if you didn't do so well on math this time? It's only the first semester of freshman year. You've got years ahead of you. Don't cry."
Zhou Anran sat down.
Dong Chen looked at her like she was a lifeline. "You're back. Thank god. Talk to her, will you?"
Zhou Anran knew Yan Xingxi too well. There was no way she was crying over a bad grade. She glanced sideways and saw that Yan Xingxi had let her hair down from its usual ponytail, and understood immediately.
When she looked back at Dong Chen, there was a flicker of sympathy in her eyes. "She's wearing earbuds.”
Dong Chen froze. "What?"
Zhou Anran reached over and pulled one of the earbuds out.
Yan Xingxi finally noticed she was back. She sniffled dramatically. "Ranran, you're back! Waaah, my idol's new live performance is just so heartbreakingly good."
Dong Chen: "..."
His voice came from behind them, sputtering with indignation. "Yan Xingxi, are you a pig?"
Yan Xingxi whipped around, baffled. "What's wrong with you? You're the pig."
And they were off bickering again.
Zhou Anran rested her head on her arms, her gaze drifting to the corner of her desk.
That beautiful hand had rested there today, if only for a moment.
Listening to the childish bickering beside her, she felt the corners of her mouth lift.
Yeah.
There are still years ahead.
Today, her favorite teacher had praised her.
And because of that, he'd spoken to her. Just to her.
Maybe things wasn't so bad after all.
---
Nancheng winters were brutal.
The city had no central heating, and the first year building was an older one without air conditioning. So once winter hit, the doors and windows of Class 2 stayed firmly shut.
Maybe it was the cold, or maybe it was the fact that Chen Luobai had rejected every girl who'd confessed to him, but the stream of girls lingering outside their classroom had noticeably decreased.
The final stretch of the first semester of first year passed in an unusually quiet peace.
Zhou Anran had always hated the cold.
This was the first winter she'd ever loved.
The sealed doors and windows created a small, enclosed world.
She and the boy she secretly liked were trapped inside it together, heads down, working toward their respective futures.
She didn't know what the future held.
But surely, it was full of hope.
---
The day of finals ended, before they all left for break, Zhou Anran used the cover of Yan Xingxi and Dong Chen's usual squabbling to secretly observe the back of the room.
He was talking to his friends. She slowed down her packing.
Zhu Ran urged him to leave. She hurriedly stuffed everything on her desk into her bag.
Finally, she managed to leave school just a step behind him.
On the way out, she saw so many people come up to greet him.
Probably because he played so much basketball, he seemed familiar with a lot of people from other classes, even upperclassmen.
Some came to make plans to play over winter break. Others just wished him a happy New Year or said, "See you next semester."
Luckily, they were almost all guys.
There still wasn't a girl close to him. He seemed more polite and reserved with girls, more distant.
Sometimes, girls in their class would work up the courage to ask him questions, and most of the time, he didn't refuse.
But just like those two times he'd helped her, it always felt like he was helping you out of politeness, not because you were special to him.
At the east gate, Zhou Anran and Yan Xingxi turned left. Chen Luobai, Zhu Ran, and the others turned right. Sometimes a car from his family picked him up. Sometimes he took the bus with Zhu Ran. Sometimes he hailed a cab. But always to the right.
Always the opposite direction from hers.
She wouldn't see him for over a month.
As they parted ways, Zhou Anran couldn't help but look back. She watched his figure recede into the distance and silently wished him, See you next semester.
She paused.
Then added, silently, Happy New Year.
---
The first half of winter break was freezing cold. Zhou Anran only went out once, to hang out with Yan Xingxi, and didn't leave the house after that.
The day before New Year's Eve, she went with her parents, as usual, to her grandparents' village to celebrate.
Both her grandparents were still robust. As always, they refused any help with the first meal home. Grandma ushered her, her mom, and her dad into the kitchen to say hi to Grandpa, then shooed them out.
Once they were back in the main room, Zhou Xianhong was immediately pulled into a card game by an uncle who lived next door.
Zhou Anran followed her mom to the living room to warm themselves by the fire and watch TV.
Before long, a car pulled up outside. Then came the sound of her uncle and aunt greeting people.
Like Zhou Xianhong, her uncle Zhou Xianji was quickly roped into the card game. Her aunt, Jia Fenghua, click-clacked into the living room in her heels and sat down beside them.
He Jiayi subtly nudged Zhou Anran with her elbow.
Suppressing her reluctance, Zhou Anran spoke. "Aunt."
Jia Fenghua smiled at her, then held up her bag for He Jiayi to see. "I bought this bag the other day. What do you think?"
He Jiayi glanced at it. "It's pretty."
Jia Fenghua set the bag aside, her tone feigning casualness. “The bag itself wasn't too expensive. Just over a hundred thousand. But you have to spend almost as much on other stuff before they'll even let you buy it. These luxury brands are so troublesome."
He Jiayi knew her sister-in-law's game. She wasn't interested in playing and just pushed the fruit plate toward her. "These oranges are really sweet."
The smile on Jia Fenghua's lips dimmed slightly. She grabbed an orange at random, then turned her attention to Zhou Anran. "Ranran, how did you do on your finals?"
Zhou Anran pressed her lips together. She knew her aunt wouldn't have anything nice to say.
She didn't really want to answer.
He Jiayi pinched her subtly and answered for her. "Not bad. Eighth in her class."
The smile on Jia Fenghua's face widened instantly. Catching herself, she tried to tone it down, putting on a concerned expression. "Ranran, that's a drop, isn't it? I remember she was always in the top three in middle school. Well, girls do tend to fall behind boys as they get further along in school."
He Jiayi's voice was flat. "She's in the experimental class. This time, she ranked 55th in the entire grade. You know No. 2 High School. Their college admission rate is over ninety percent. If she holds this rank, getting into a 985 university shouldn't be a problem."
The smile on Jia Fenghua's face stiffened for a fraction of a second. "Well, that's still pretty impressive, I suppose. But why is she still so quiet? Just a bookworm? That kind of introverted personality won't get her anywhere. You know my husband's education, but he built his business on being sharp and knowing how to talk. But it's fine. She's the only girl in the family. No matter what happens, she can always follow in her father's footsteps and come work for her uncle."
Zhou Anran didn't really care what her aunt said about her. But saying things about her parents was different. She saw her mother's hand clench slightly at her side.
"Aunt." She wasn't good at confrontation. Her own hand tightened at her side. Then she spoke softly. "Is Cousin not coming home for New Year's this year?"
Jia Fenghua smiled again. "No, his studies are so intense. And they don't have Spring Festival over there. I told him not to bother with all the travel."
Zhou Anran reached for a small sugar orange and started peeling it slowly. "Oh. Is he still hanging out with that guy next door? Wu De?"
Jia Fenghua looked confused. "They still hang out, yes. Why?"
Zhou Anran handed the peeled orange to He Jiayi and looked up at her aunt. "You might want to tell him to stop. I saw Wu De posting pictures of marijuana on his foreign social media."
Jia Fenghua's face went pale. "You can't just say things like that."
Zhou Anran brushed the stray pith from her hands. "You can check for yourself if you don't believe me."
He Jiayi accepted the orange, a strange warmth blooming in her chest. She nudged her daughter. "Don't you have winter break homework? Go do it now."
Zhou Anran looked at her.
He Jiayi patted her arm. "Go on."
Zhou Anran nodded. As she stepped out the door, she heard her aunt's voice behind her.
"I'm going to check on my husband's card game. You enjoy the TV."
Zhou Anran let out a slow breath and went to the room her grandparents always kept for her.
She sat down, spread out her math practice test, but couldn't focus.
She didn't like her aunt and didn't care what her aunt said about her.
She'd only retaliated just now because her aunt had insulted her father. Because she'd made her mother unhappy. And because, for all his faults, her cousin had always been decent to her. She didn't want to see him go down the wrong path.
But Zhou Anran knew that, deep down, her mom probably agreed with her aunt on one point: "That kind of introverted personality won't get her anywhere."
She'd told her as much, many times.
Zhou Anran had always thought personality was just a personality. This kind, or that kind. Neither better nor worse.
But in the eyes of adults, it seemed, there was right and wrong. Good and bad.
Extroverted was right. Good.
Introverted was wrong. Bad.
She'd quietly tried to change. More than once.
But it felt like there was a battery bar inside her. When she was reading, doing homework, or interacting with people she liked, the charge could last for a long, long time.
But when she forced herself to be extroverted, to socialize with everyone, whether she liked it or not, the battery drained instantly. A whole night's sleep wouldn't recharge it.
She'd wake up and even the blue sky would look gray.
Every attempt had ended in failure.
What about him?
A familiar, handsome face flashed through her mind.
He probably likes the outgoing, confident type, too.
---
Perhaps worried about her son far away in a foreign country, or maybe she'd toned it down in front of her husband, but for the next few days, Jia Fenghua's passive-aggressive comments stopped.
Zhou Anran's New Year's wasn't too terrible, all things considered.
On the fourth day of the new year, she returned home with her parents.
The next day, Yan Xingxi, flush with red envelope money, dragged her out to eat and shop. The entire time, Yan Xingxi vented about her latest online argument with Dong Chen.
Zhou Anran laughed, but underneath the laughter was a faint, inexplicable melancholy.
Her social circle and Chen Luobai's had no overlap. She had no idea how his winter break was going.
For the first time in her life, Zhou Anran desperately wished for school to start again.
But she never could have imagined that when school did start, there would be a girl by Chen Luobai's side.
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